Hi Mojo,

sorry to hear your sad news about your dad ️ I’m also sorry to be in a very similar situation to you. My dad passed away from mesothelioma just over three weeks ago. He had had a biopsy in April which came back negative, he was then monitored and eventually got another biopsy in October when we got the diagnosis . It  took just over 4 weeks from the day he got diagnosed for the cancer to win . I don’t really have any advise as I feel very similar to you but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I also feel angry at the hospital, the doctors, the nurses, the whole system but I know really I’m just angry at the horrible cancer that took my dad xx 

Hi Mojo3,

I'm deeply sorry to hear your story. I'm hours (maybe minutes) away from losing my own dad and my heart is about to break. And when I read your story, I see parallels:

1) Terrible GP-ing - yep, my father's GP fobbed my father off, never thinking it could be cancer. 

2) Terrible hospital care - my father was "treated" at a hospital that should be ashamed of its "care." I AM going to make a formal complaint - when my father has gone and when I feel ready about it.

I can't say what you should do and won't give any "advice." I will say that from my perspective, for my situation, one of the reasons I am going to complain is to get it off my chest because I don't know if I can keep it there forever. But the other reason I'm going to complain is that I simply don't think it's right if I allow doctors/GPs/hospitals to get away with terrible care - it will cost OTHER people their lives. When I wrote a letter of complaint to the hospital about a ***-up they'd made regarding my father's last scan, the manager called me back and said SHE AGREED with me. She said I was RIGHT to complain and she encouraged me to contact the CEO of the hospital because she thought that he needed to hear about it so that the same thing doesn't happen to other people.

As for my father's GP, one of the GPs at the practice told us recently that they would be reviewing my father's case to see where (if anywhere) they went wrong.

So in THEORY, I don't see any reason why you "shouldn't" complain.

My only point would be - what's most important for you right now? Is it to complain? Or can the complaint wait? 

For me, the most important thing for a while will probably be looking after my own wellbeing and looking after my MOTHER'S wellbeing. That's what my dad told me to do when he was conscious. So that's what I'm going to do. The complaints will probably come, but at a later date. 

Finally, I am sending you all my love and support.

Adam