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Dad passed away today I feel broken :(

NicoleB1991x
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Hi all

Unfortunately my dad passed away early hours of this morning after a year battle with cancer. He had secondary liver cancer bless him and he was in so much pain towards the end. He really was my superhero watching him be so brave and so strong. I have two small children so after being with him all day yesterday I decided to go home and have some normality for my kids. ( it's what he would of wanted aswell as he adored his grand kids) 

I got a phone call off my brother at half 5 saying that I needed to go over and see him as his breathing had changed but by the time I got there it was too late I just hope he knows I was on my way and that I adored him and I always will. What worries me and has upset my mother too as for the past few days when he deteriorated and was in and out of sleep he kept asking us to help him and was shouting that he was dying and it breaks your heart seeing someone like that and I just hope he wasn't scared or in any pain and was ready to go. I feel broke atm like everything has gone numb and I haven't slept for days. I know no words are going to ease my pain but sometimes when you know your not alone and others have experience the same pain it brings you comfort.

thanks in advance to anybody who takes time out of their day to comment back. I'd love a chat as I feel so devastated atm. I was so close with my dad I'm going to miss him so much

  • Offline in reply to bras1548

    We never seem to tell our loved ones how much we love them because they are always there. Then BANG from nowhere there gone with no warning. My Penny ️ was always there for me . I've had about 5 redundancys since 1983.  Lost pensions I worked 4years longer than my retirement date. As I did Retire I had my problems with prostate cancer.  Penny ️ was there for me through all of this as I finished Radiotherapy treatment Penny ️ was taken ill with breast cancer  it feels like she help me all the time with my problems but I was unable to Help her. Penny always said she not live as long as her dad   She was right. I always said to her don't be silly your mum lived till she was 88  Her dad lived till he was 69.   Penny ️ passed away at the age of 67. The youngest to pass away in her family . There also no history in her family of Breast Cancer.  I feel totally lost and cheated now Penny ️ has gone. They say there is better treatments out there and people are serviving longer it didn't help my Penny ️.

  • Offline in reply to Graham39

    Hi so sorry graham i still think we are in the dark ages with cancer .they lull us into a false sence of security the media portrays survivers and thats great but it never shows the dark side of this rotton disease so we are not prepared if it happens to us if thats posible did my best to keep liz going but its a truely horrible experiance loosing the love of your life i somtimes wonder wher dose all that money go . Paul

  • Offline in reply to Paulus

    This is very true. The media's messages are BS: "We're winning the war against cancer." No, we're not. Some people are getting remarkable results. But for many (most?) forms of advanced cancer, there's not only no cure (yet) but not much even in the way of prolonging life for very long.

    I realise when I write a message like the above that people will say I am in the "anger" stage of grief. Angry at doctors, oncologists, "science" - but I think even in a rational, calm state of mind I'd feel similar. I think false messages of positivity ("finally winning the war against cancer") don't help at all. Better to acknowledge the true state of affairs and invest more (and more wisely) to improve it.

     

  • Offline in reply to bras1548

    Agreed - the narrative is 'we can beat this'. Makes it hard for people to accept that some don't 

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