Hi, I'm new to this.  I lost my mum in June..it was all very sudden and we think it was pancreatic cancer but dont know. She had been getting stomach pains, went for a scan, they sent her for a biopsy, we were waiting on the results when she had all sorts of other stuff happen, like bleeding from her stoma, becoming jaundiced, itching all over, pain spreading.  Thing is, the hospital she got rushed into wouldnt investigate further as we were waiting on results from a different hospital.  They waited for bleed to stop and sent her home, she returned 2 days late with same, they sent her home again. It was back and forth for 10 days. Then it was a fall off a cliff within 3 days. We didnt know what was happening, we didnt know and still dont whether it was cancer. On her death certificate it said hospital acquired pneumonia. Last time she got taken in she went down overnight in there. Went to see her and they'd put her on oxygen, 3 days later they told us we were looking at end of life...still no results.  She died 3 days later in hospice.  I have flashbacks to all of it. I feel totally lost and angry and sad and it has been 6 months now and it hasnt got easier, I've even had cruse counscelling.  I think it is compounded by the fact I lost my Dad 2 years ago to COPD, then my partners sister died last year of throat cancer and now my mum.  I don't know how to get back up from this.  I miss my mum SO much, my Dad too  and I find myself talking to them and wonder if I'm actually going mad now.  Thank you for hearing me and just letting me get this stuff out.