I’d like to say thanks for listening to me rant on and on I’ve decided to go back to work so I have something else to focus on it might dull the pain for a part of the day give me something else to think about one day at a time 

Ok your welcome  see how you go on they say dont make any big disisions for a while after loss as we tend not to be thinking straight for a while just come and chat if it helps .paul

Thanks it does help to chat especially to someone whose been through the same thing take it your like me and can’t sleep I find myself going over everything in my mind are you the same

Not so much now but it dosnt leave me it just dosnt hurt most of the time ive sufferd insomnia most of my life but i try not to spend to much in my head. ime a thinker ive tryed to stop it but just except it now but loosing liz liz you it went round and round so i just thought ive got to break the cycle but its to early for you at the moment you need to work it out in your head yourself and you will dont worry they say dont make big disisions .just go with how you feel yourself just no big money choices throwing things away etc or get angry at people. You find people you would never dream will be there for you and ones that you would think would support you let you down or put there foot in it ive had it all even someone said youl meet someone else they where trying to make me feel better it didnt lol so when were you thinking of going back to work give yourself time thoe as any sort of presher may make you feel anxious but a busy mind may help if you like what you do ??? 

Yeh I find people want to help but they just don’t no what to say everything just seems worse because it’s christmas my mum died 12 years ago on Boxing Day which made Christmas hard enough and now this Christmas will be cancelled for me for a long time. I was thinking of going back to work on sun but I might leave it till after new year as don’t want everyone wishing me a happy new year when how can it be 

Yes that sounds like a good plan rushing back to work to escape it in a way could be a bad idea you need to charge up a bit literally as your emotions will be all over the place . Shakespeare said everyone's an expert at dealing with grief till they have to go through it themselves i couldnt think of a better way of putting it realy .daft as it sounds in a way we cant control grief buts theres parts of our brains protect us we go fuzzy forgetful its numbing us from the pain .your brain will tell you the right things to do its very clever more so than our conscious .so you will be ok but theres no easy way round it just take it day by day. At least have some treats in for xmass keep your strength up a good dinner .please dont drink alcohol you sound very inteligent so i know you woant theres some men on here hit the bottle to escape but it makes it worse . Just keep talking like i did and dont apologize for coming and chatting we understand what your going through and there will be others following this and your helping them feel less alone anyway your not alone your just by yourself its a big diffrence 

Your right am just gonna take it one day at a time and I won’t be hitting the bottle as not really much of a drinker people only go down that road cause it dulls the pain for a little while but it soon comes back am just gonna try keep myself busy so I don’t have time to think and occasionally chatting to you if that’s okay as it helps me get through the day thanks for listening 

Yes by all means come and chat ime having a big op on 27th but xmas nytime before but have a think about seeing your kids you never know it may be better than you think and sharing helps . You can ring the samartans to dont be worried about calling them .a kind voice can help and a call on a morning and last thing at night to your kids can make a big diffrenc i found that was worse time for me just takes that rotton empty feeling away if only for a short time and give them comfort to knowing there mums ok as they will be worrying about you i cant imagine how bad it must be to have no one we are lucky in that. I have slight dislexia so sorry for grammer the text correction on here realy makes me sound like a nit at times but ime far from it they used to rib me about it at work sometimes i used to say how come i earn more than you that shut em up lol ps have a chat to your family about going back to work dont say your ok thoe as they will think your ok and your not just yet

Hi yes it may be but you may find the distraction just might take your pain away a bit and for your daughter to .no i dont mind its i bowle resection i crohns disease but ive had sepsis this year then in hospital again this should cure it i hope but its nothing like the pain you and i are going through just hope i dont end up with a stoma but hey what can you do eh but  boxing day like you getting round everyone as ive 3 adult kids and seven grandkids that hurting th pocket ha ha .then home fore a chill