Hi Tracy,

I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved dad. Its such a hard time losing a parent. I lost my mum to a sudden brain haemorrhage in june and I feel exactly the same as you.

I think about her 24/7, I cry numerous times a day and I feel permanently stuck in june. Nothing has moved on for me yet I see me sister and her family just living their lives and barely mentioning her.

What support do you have?

Cheryl x

Good morning Cheryl

Thank you so much for your kind words, I’m sorry for your loss I truly do know how you are feeling 

I have one sister who is coping fine, but will turn it on for sympathy, I wish I was where she is . I have never felt a physical pain like it, I don’t think I’m strong enough to get through this

what about you have you got support?

Tracy x

Hi,

I lost my mom 3 years ago to cancer that eventually took over her whole body.
It never gets any easier, you just learn how to cope better. No one has moved on people deal with things differently, if you feel you need any help. Reach out to your family, friends & health care proffesionals as admitting you need help is nothing to be ashamed of.

Han x 

Hi tracy,

I have a lovely partner and 12 year old daughter but I dont feel supported by them. My partner was great but 4 months on I think he just wants to get our lives back so I hate pestering him with how I feel. My daughter refuses to talk about her nanny, who she adored. My mum brought her up with me and they were so close. I think she just pretends she has gone out somewhere.

I have been offered 6 sessions of bereavement counselling by my work. I have had 4 sessions so far but they have done little to help my pain.

I feel the same as you but I'm trying so hard to get through this. Partly because my mum would be heartbroken to see me so permanently sad and partly because I have my partner and daughter who need me.

Have you sought any professional help?

None of my friends have been through this recently, if at all but I do get comfort from another online site and am having lots of conversations with other people who have recently lost their mums.

You and we, will get through this  its just going to be a long and rocky road x

Hi Cheryl 

i like yourself have a wonderful husband , we share 2 boys & 2 girls ages from 21 to 27 . I don’t think they can cope with Tracy / mum being like this . I am a strong woman who normally fixes everything for them & now me like this , it’s like if they don’t mention my dad all will be fine& they couldn’t be further from the truth. Like yourself I had the 6 counselling sessions, done no good whatsoever, I also have my name down for counselling with cruse. This is for everyone else’s benefit & not mine , I don’t think it works it isn’t going to bring him back & that’s all I want, that’s the only thing that’s going to make it ok.

Tracy x

Read Elizabeth Kubler Ross on grief.Different people feel grief differently.Grief is agonisingly painful.

my father died aged 45 of pancreatic cancer when I was 20.My mother's coping strategy was to sweep it all under the carpet.She was annoyed that I cried at his funeral and didn't tell me when my godmother died until after the funeral in case I got upset and was an embarassment

things will never be the same.Time heals but very slowly,and anniversaries and Christmas are dreadful.

talk to your GP.Grief can easily morph into depression and antidepressants might just help a bit...

Hi read your post about counciling get some from the hospice the counciling goes till you feel you dont need anymore but it hurts talking about but but it does help six sessions is hardly enough and as the monthe.s go bye and the world goes back to normal and then when you want to talk people change the subject or ignore what you say frightend they will say something wrong but its realy annoying.the councilers at hospice deal with loss every day its not what Elisabeth kubler ross said she got it wrong about the five stages of grief . So maybe give the head counciler a call see what they suggest i went for months after i lost my liz it helped .the thing is no one realy knows how to deal with grief till they have to go through it ime no stranger to grief and not going to say i know how you feel even thoe ive lost mum and dad  we  hear all sorts of platitudes like that   griefs a lonely road but at the end does come peace you never forget and i think it makes you much more understanding you never forget it just stops hurting just take it one day at a time till you get your emotional energie back and can think straight because we dont for a while theres  post on here started by sarapine8  manyh come on and said how they now beleive our phyical bodys wear out but the energie that drives us our soul call it what you like is still there but like any form of energie we know  its there but we just cant see it a lot have said its given them comfort reading the posts .paul ps excuse the spelling etc i do this on my phone so the spell checker messes it about ive already had the grammer police on correcting me this week