I'm so sorry, you poor thing. 

Have you tried grief therapy? 

Nobody "deserves" this. Remember your daddy wants you to be happy and live life to the full x

Hi rebecca 

I feel the same as you. It's been 4 months since mum died suddenly and I scattered her ashes last week. Today I've just got back from the cemetery as I noticed my grandparents grave was very overgrown when I was there last week so I've been with secateurs and gloves to sort it out today.

I'm so angry. It should be my lovely mum tending to her parents grave, instead her ashes have already sunken into the grass she was scattered on.

It makes me feel sick to my core that she no longer lives. She led such a simple life watching her beloved tv and chatting on the phone,having a bit of dinner with me and the odd glass of wine.

She deserves to be here and I know exactly how you are feeling x

Hi just let your emotions go the first one is the worst . You never do get over it but as time goes by it stops hurting and you put this black terrible time in a little box in  the back of your mind and it pops out accasionaly have a good blub tommorw does you good stops the rotton anxiaty wondering how you'll cope with such a sad day but you will

Hi hope your day was ok very stressful my first xmass was worst but as time goes by its not as bad just try and keep your spirits up youve gone through the worst .your obviously very inteligent judging by your posts so you will work it out for yourself thats how we have to do it from what ive seen you dont have to reply just know we are feeling for you there will be a lot thinking that they just dont always post but they are there .paul