Hi Paulus.

I used to go on another website. People can really 'bond'. Eventhough no one ever met up. It can help ease the intensity of pain. I liked reading about your Liz putting the telly on! It was very comforting to hear she gave you a lovely warm hug. I know that feeling. I've felt a hand on my shoulder a couple of times. Plus. I was in my lounge, watching tv. Then i heard a weird noise. (No. It wasn't Ian!) my clock radio came on quietly in the kitchen. White noise. I turned it off. Then it came on again. Twce! I realised it was mum. She loved to listen to radio 4. Plus. The first time i went back to mum's place after she'd gone, was sooo emotional. The next day i was exhausted. My flat has wires on the window ledge so no birds can land. That morning i had the window open. I suddenly heard the sweetest birdsong. Sounded like it was in my bedroom. Got up. A lovely green & grey bird was looking up at me. Tempted to fly in. I spoke to it gently. Then it flew off!! I felt so emotional but happy! It was HER. Plus. I live in Central London. I was along the Strand. When the same sort of little bird landed next to me. Not the normal boring pigeon or seagull. It was as if no one else saw it. The pavement was so crowded with annoying tourists!! But that little bird just looked up at me, then flew off into a tourist's face. (My mum knew how annoying i can find them!) It made me laugh!

By the way. Ian's my 5th hamster. I've had BIG BAZ, NAUTIE NELLIE, CHEEKY CHARLIE & RODNEY. From only fools & horses. They should be prescribed on the NHS. Such funny little creatures. 

Yes kids had one they are cute a lot of people have said about birds visiting and feathers a good friend of mine had feathers from her lovely mum many have them its to coinsidentet not to mean something .yes the telly being on that was strange never come on since the warm feeling convinced me that wasnt in my mind but .hey they all have cool names lol well ive a hospital appointment this morning to see yet another consultan as infection in bloods gone but the urinery infections still there not as bad now but they say it can take months plus ive protratitis and our bods can only heal at one speed but slightly better every day .i check my temp blood preshure and oxigen level reg my gp gpid if my temp goes up again straight to a/e but its been normal so far trouble is sepsis starts all the other things i suffer from off .hey hoo  thats life ime lucky me thinks have a lovely day with ian .paul ps my son who liz was very fond of had that a kids walkie talking came on with white noise i suppose one day we will get to know but not just yet eh we both have a bit more living to do eh 

Hey.

I think everyone knows about health stuff on these sites. 
Good luck with your appointment.

Hi Paulus.

i just wondered how things are with you?

It was my mum's horrible anniversary today. Met up with some friends yesterday. We had tea, cake & some snackky things, with wine. I was going to go out tonight. But i changed my mind. Stayed in with a cuppa & corrie!! Tea & Coronation Street just go together. Mum loved cream slices. I couldn't sleep last night. So i was  bad. Had a midnight snack (at about 3am!) had a cream slice & cup o tea & listened to the radio. I like to listen to phone ins. Like to hear other people's opinions on things. Sometimes i go on & have my say too. 
Anyway. Hope your appointment went ok.

Hi there good you were not alone  allthoe you will feel lonely in a crowd at the moment but you know it dosnt last for ever .cream slice i wish ha my friend on here said why is everything that bad for you taste the best had to agree on that one well appointment was a bit of a joke realy when i was in hospital a dr from gastrololgy came and said i had pancreatis now thats worse than sepsis plus liz had it. worse thing it can be caused by drinking to much the worse thing was i dont realy drink so havnt even had the pleasure of a booze up to get it lol anyway i haven't got it you go to gps for one thing and end up with 3 things ive come to the conclusion now that its to dangerous to go to gps ha ha anyway they said i was prediabetic yet in hospital my blood sugers were normal anyway cut suger and eating spuds ime half irish you know so no spuds is a bitter blow and cream cakes so ime in what you call healthy pergotary at the moment but going to treat myself this week and blow it .tesco cake ile here i come wa ho .right back to you so you watched cora cith a cuppa  its amazing how you ladies love that program liz used to tape and have cora fest on a sunday morning this shows you how old i am yet ive been out on motorbike today i remember seeing the first eoisode of coranation stree with Minnie coldwell and ena sharples hows that then mum loved it and as there were 2 channels in black and white i had no choice plus remember first dr who and star trek these young ones think its hard now we used to get dressed in bed on a morning in winter the net curtains would be feozen to the inside window . So how are you feeling now ?? Sounds like a good plan the snack and raidio i bet your .mum was there listening with you try chatting to her i do with liz i was watching tv tonight they say the universe is made up of 80 percent dark matter and they havnt a clue what it is then you say well i beleive theres a life after death maybe not as we know it and they call us barmy eh saterday night tv switched over to strickly come dancing in bbc1 hd i would never have set it to come on the hd channels liz favourite. food for thought dont you think hope you get some sleep tonight trying to keep it a bit lighter on the conversation front it such a sad time but humour gets you through . Paul

Hi liz used to make me feel special very smart beutiful inteligent lady with a wicked sense of humour still had a bit of that sweet Newcastle accent funny how mum was a geordie to .so your half paddy then dad was from the south so i could get an Irish passport to travel in eu after brexit but ive done my bucket list now only thing ime not going to now is my funeral ime giving that one a miss ha ha ime 65 .sounds ike your mum loved life still is just in a diffrent way .its shows that somethings going on that you were so sad yet then your mum caame and comforted you in your dreams but more than just your mind telling you that theres a lot experianced that on here they cant stay long i think just enough to comfort us then there gone or we would get to know to much and want to be going with them you have a ife to lead first and thats what us mums and dads want to see not them being sad well maybe  miss us a bit thats what i feel now i miss mum and dad but it dosnt hurt anymore thats what your going to feel eventualy nice memories yep i left strickely on and zoned out after first dance whitch was pretty good liz and i were into the northern northern soul seen so we used  to go out dancing ourselves into our sixtys loved it dont go now but the music is brill keep your chin up lifes hard and is painful i know but pretty good to .paul ps you should do a post on serapine8s post about signes after you may find people coming along with being visited in there dreams its i very interesting and comforting post just to know your not alone and its far more than just a dream just to add if it was just a dream you would just dream how your mum was now now  not that type of dream food for thought dont you think

Hi Paulus.

I had a crap day yesterday. Woke up feeling ok though. But every hour my right ear started to get more & more painful. Deep inside it. I've been having problems on & off for a year with both of them. Have been on 2 different types of steroid ear drops for 2 weeks. They helped my left ear. But bloody hell. My right ear was driving me nuts. I felt shaky, sick & so ill. So i planned to go to a&e. I was trapped though. I'm going on a new longterm drug for my arthritis & eye problems. In August, i had steroid implants injected in to my eyes, as my vision was so bad. I was terrified going out. With all the tourists & the hot sunny weather this year. I hardly went out this summer. I was having an infusion at my local hospital every 6 weeks. (Infliximab. Was on it 13yrs. But it's stopped working). I'm going on Humira. They delivered this drug to my home. 1 injection every 2 weeks. I'll have to inject myself. In a way i'll miss going for my infusion. Although there are a couple of nurses that have been quite rude to me. When they hook you up to this stuff, it makes you very tired. So you need a bit of piece. One of the nurses put this horrible music on. (Some patronising sod on a guitar singing about God). I found it so annoying & was too loud, as he was getting more worked up singing about religion). I asked this rude cow, if this music was meant to calm us down, coz it wasn't working!!! I said it was awful. Her bloody face would sour milk. She looked at me & said actually. It's not for the patients. It's for the nurses to help us do our work!!! How rude. I said well i'm a patient & i need a bit of piece. They turned it off. I'm due to go back next week for my last infusion. If she's there, i might quietly say to her. 'You're not a natural nurse are you? My mother was a nurse & she was alot kinder than you!!' Bloody hell i'm rambling.

I've gone off track. I went to a&e yesterday. Thought i was in a third world country. My local hospital is a big main one. Yet they still ran out of chairs. By now my pain was crippling. I was crying it was so bad. They checked my bp. I have high blood pressure anyway. But it was sky high. They pushed me ahead. (Eventhough i was waiting 1.5hrs in that waiting room. They pushed me forward to another bulging waiting area. 2 people were talking & joking non stop. 1 was waiting with the other & i wanted to hit them. 1 was a woman joking on her mob. I thought you weren't meant to fo that!! I wanted to quietly ask them to keep their voices down. I was holding my ear & other people were in pain. But they carried on being selfish. 1 poor guy shouted out his brother was dying! I think he'd been stabbed. A&e seemds so ferral. You wouldn't know what to expect if you worked there. Anyway. They did my bloods & temp. I've got a bad bacterial infection in my middle ear. Fluid & pus. Horrible. So on antibiotics for a week. I was lucky though. Because they pushed me up. I was only there 3hrs. I often have to go to Moorfields eye hospital a&e & the minimum i often wait there is 4hrs!

So i've just been taking it easy, eating soup & watching comedies in bed on my tablet. Just what the dr ordered!!!

Hi is it crohns you have i had 3 infusions then started with breathing problems thaught i was suffocating they all said it was anxiety till in tge end went to see gp and demanded they send me for a proper breathing test turned out it had given me asthma . Sounds like your going through mill there trouble is those biologic drugs flatten your immune system so any infection runs riot .i can give advice as ime layman but i was getting sacroilic rebound pain could be walking along felt i had been stabbed in the back used to carry crutches in my car plus syatica whem liz was diagnosed i looked up antioxidant etc and we got some antioxident supplements . Allso started on b12 because althoe my b12 levels were oke the drs were not interested but i got all the stmptoms as crohns if its in ilium we dont absorb b12 plus my crohns was undiagnosed for ten years as soon as i started on it bang the change was unbeleivabut .back to my back we started on turmeric with black pepper after a month my syatica went and neither has my back it is wonderful its slow but they have been using in the east for 1000s of years you can get it of ebay or holand and barret . You may want to try it you have to keep taking it but it dosnt wreak your stomach like ibuprofen ye these town a/es are like madhouses and english is a second language they eye prob you have i would run if someone came near my eye allthoe six months ago i had cateract done ime just waiting for othere one but it was nothing like thought it would be but i think me bodys in self destruct mode lol ime falling apart but we soldier on if my crohns plays up i go to gp and get a caurse of metronidazole seems to dampen it down but stress is bad for crohns it dosnt cause crohns but i bet you find it realy makes it worse so you must be flaring you have my sympathys its awfull but i think ive been luck my older brother lost half his bowle from it .thank goodness for nhs with all its faults eh .p

Hi. I'm so glad to say it's not chrons. I've heard about that. I've got reactive arthritis, with glaucoma & another serious eye problem iritis. I've had the whole package since i was 21. Had a pain in my right big toe one day. But in real agony. Went to a&e. They kept me in for a week. Told me i've got arthritis!! Couldn't wait to get home. They didn't think i was up to it. But they let me. Literally the next day. Every joint in my body became inflammed. The pain was crippling. I was literally bedridden. Had only been married 6 months. Had to move in with my mum for a while. Plus i had an awful time with my eyes. Was in the hospital having steroid injections in them nearly every week. Plus i was on so many drugs. One day. I was so high, i couldn't read, write or recognise my brother in law. He looked familiar. But i didn't know his name. I was so scared. So they lowered the dose of tablets slightly. I had 1 cataract removed when i was 26 & 1 when i was 40. My toes were very deformed so they operated. So bloody painful. They're getting worse again. But i have to go on this new drug to hopefully help with my joints & eyes. I'm so grateful they can do things. If this was 100yrs ago. So many people wouldn't even be here. Plus technology's great. My vision was so bad. If this drug doesn't help. They've told me my vision will get worse again. Phones are great. There's a magnifying glass on it & really helps you zoom in on small writing. Saved me if i was cooking & couldn't read instructions. I'm very grateful for technology & the NHS!!!!