My Mum had Lung Cancer. Last year she was taken into hospital with a suspected Stroke and then they found she had Lung Cancer which had spread to her Brain. They said she had months, but she battled on for just over a year. I drove an hour and a half to go take her to treatments, and look after her. It's always just been me and Mum. She was my best friend.
When she was in hospital last month, I was in work and got a phone call to say she didnt have long left. But before I could even leave the town I live in to come be with her, she had gone. I felt so guilty she died without me there.
At first I cried a lot. Then I felt numb. At the funeral I didnt really cry, and everyone said I was so strong.
Now I'm back in the room I rent and go to work as usual. But my emotions are all over the place. I get sad for very brief periods, and very depressed. I feel nothing most of the time. My main concern is that I dont feel sad enough.. I feel like I should be in pain more but I'm not.
Is there something wrong with me? Or does anyone else feel like this? She was my world and without her.. I dont know what to do anymore.
Apologies for the rambling.
