Hi 

Firstly I’m so sorry for your recent loss , it’s been nearly 7 weeks since my Father passed and it was only 2 weeks ago that I returned to work - I spoke with my GP and she gave me a 4 week sick note due to my Emotional state , My job is not the norm and has its issues regarding stress and time spent outside of the U.K. 

You need to speak to your GP and don’t feel guilty as you really need to take time away from work to re group your thoughts and emotions . I struggled when I was away but I got there and I’ve returned home feeling that another obstacle has been put to bed so to speak . 

Dont let it go , make the call ASAP , look after yourself and get help to look after your Father .

Regards

Phil

Hi Steph, my beautiful mum passed away on 11th Sept.  I had a week and a half off bereavement leave, then I worked from home for a week and then had a week off sick last week as i got a bug and it was the funeral on Thursday.  I’m going back to work Monday although I feel like crawling into a cupboard and not coming out again.  I’m crying my eyes out right now because it just hit me again that she is actually gone. Forever.  I just can’t believe it even though we knew for over 2 years she was terminal,  we just didnt see it coming as she was so well and then just didnt wake up one morning and had a cardiac arrest.

I feel so depressed and sad. I am worried about my poor dad, they were soulmates and married 54 years. Tonight is his first night alone and I am worried sick about him.

I’m upset I didnt get to say goodbye to mum and that she died alone in the ambulance. I’m angry that we didnt have those conversations you should have had but put off because there was more time. I’m angry she didnt write me a letter, hardly ever text me so I have nothing to look back on. I’m angry that she died at only 71 years old.  I’m just really low today.  

I’m so sorry you are going through this too. It helps to talk to others in the same boat.

L

I didn't feel guilty and you shouldn't.  I took additional weeks as a combination of annual and special leave.  You need the time to get your dad settled, that's what I did and the only people going on at me to go back to work were work themselves, who to be honest do not care about me or my family. Your family should be grateful you are there for your dad. I regret not pushing for longer off , as I would rather have had another month unpaid and have had the time with my dad xxx

Hi Steph,

Given the job you do and the impact making mistakes might have, why not see your GP and ask for a sick note? 

As a former NHS line manager, that’s the advice I gave to staff in a similar position. Some Trusts allowed time for special leave, but mine didn’t, so this was the only option. 

Bereavement hits us all differently and at different times, there’s no right or wrong way to do this but it would be unethical to put your patients at risk.

Best wishes

Dave