How am I going to cope without her?

My sister has recently been told that she has secondary breast cancer in her liver, we've been told she only has months.  She's my best friend, she's my go to, my children utterly adore her how am I meant to handle this?   I remember, when we were young, looking up at my parents and believing that when you were older you just knew how to cope with things, well, I'm. 38  and the reality is I've clearly missed some all. Important training along the way as I'm  just in pieces, im. So flipping angry that this is happening, life is so unfair.  My children are too young to know or understand what's happening and right now are more worried about mummy and the fact that mummy keeps bursting in to tears.  I try so hard do not do it when they are around but sometimes it's just so hard to hide it.  So in short, I'm. A pathetic adult and an even more useless mummy . 

I keep. Clinging to the idea that maybe when they said months it could be 12,maybe even 18... But then I look. Up secondary liver cancer, I stupidly watch coronation Street and I console a friend with a relative in the same boat and I know I'm kidding myself.  Secondary breast cancer that moves to the liver seems to mean not long .  I'm. Laying in bed wide awake as I have been every night since I was told listening to my husband snoring, thinking of how she must be feeling, scared for her and scared for my nephew but scared for me - selfish I know.  My heart is broken, my world is going to change forever my childrens lives will too as frankly a bit of mummy will die too the day she leaves us. 

She's a strong old mare, I've promised to try and not breakdown when I'm. With her, she doesn't want sympathy, and I guess needs our strength to help her have the strength to face this.  But what on earth can I do? She doesn't want people to know so I can't throw myself in to some fundraising thing to get her to do things that she would love to but can't afford.  I can't throw myself at her and be a constant figure, she's got children and a partner that need time with her. Everyone says "just be there" easy to say but not so easy to actually do! Take photos.... Lots.... Well what person wants those photos? Who wants to look at photos in some countdown to death? I want to wind the bloody clock back, I want to have more fun with her, have the evenings out that we promised we would but time, life, children all got in the way.  Most importantly I just don't want this to be happening, not to me, my family or anyone.  Cancer you are a cruel beast and if you better not dare try and get me next. 

  • O heck so sorry to here yes cancers a beast .dont feel guilty about crying its your safty valve its only natural you will start to doupt your longevity  and worry about getting cancer yourself . You know if its so bad maybe a chat to your gp might help and your sisters still here this disease is so strange theres no lodgic to it it can take people quick or they can last for years . The main thing is to spend as much  time with your sister without overdoing it when my parner was told she had cancer we both had a blub together then when it started to get to me i would drive up the road and have a five minute chat with the samartians just sharing it gave me the strenght to keep a stiff upper lip and make my partner feel safe . So you see the strongest of us need help like samartians ime not ashamed to admit it we all wobble but then we come back so if it gets to bad just have a quick chat they are not just there for people with mentle health issues and a lot have been through problems to . Just ring the free phone number say high ime struggling a bit and they will just chat i had everyone leaning on me at the time its hard to be a rock and carrer and mister cool all the time . Just explain to kids mummys ok but sometimes we adults just get a bit upset and having a sob is our way of copping a good lesson for your kids to learn that a good blub has nothing to do with being weak .my deepest best wishs for you your sis and all your family .paul ps like the cancer better not get me thats great fighting talk