Where to start!!!!!
My beautiful mam died from cancer. I am one of three siblings. Ive grown up with mental health in my life as my mam had schizophrenia. I have always had a strong bond with my mam. I miss her sooooo much, part of me has died with her. I have a teen daughter who is just petfect, she is my light my life and my sole reason im still living.
My husband left 4 months later. Together for 22 years I never thought he would abandon me in my most desperate darkest days. A normal row, same old 'i'll just go, you dont want me here', turned into a reality when I replied 'fine, just go'. The following morning I leant in and kissed him 'im sorry', only to receive 'im still going' after accepting my kiss. I retired to my bedroom in tears, I couldnt believe my ears. It took him a month to leave, a week after that to book a holiday abroad for him and our daughter. So much for him hoping we would sort things out and that maybe a break is all we need.
REALLY!!!!! My mam has gone, my brothers were and have been no where around. My dad still asks for mam, mistakes me for her, he has dementia, kinda lost him too but every minute of every day I try to wear the same old 'im fine' smile. How could he be so so cruel and still claim he loves me and wants me!!!!!
My mind, body and soul is shattered.
