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Mum moving on

Jen31
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Hi, 

My Dad passed away 2 years ago next months from bowel cancer. My mum and dad where together for 40 years. In the past 6 months my mum has been searching on dating websites. She has met a few men and is currently seeing one. She said she cant cope being alone. 

I want her to be happy but I am really struggling as it all seems so quick. She would like me and my brother to meet this guy but we dont feel ready. Over the past few days I've been starting to feel down about my dad's death and the situation.

I dont have any one else who has experienced this so just wondered if anyone had any thoughts ect? 

Thanks xx

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    Hi there ...

    So sorry for your situation .. after loosing a parent , it's never easy seeing the other parent "move on" 

    But two years on her own in the later years of life, is so lonely ... that's the time we need someone more as a friend .. to help in those years to come ... it doesn't mean your dad means less .. she must miss him still and always will .. 

    I think life is like a book , many chapters, and your dad filled a lot of your mum's story ... and just because she's writing another chapter doesn't take away the rest of her book .. it just gives her something or someone to help the next chapter of her life less painfull and lonely ..

    As hard as it is ... you still have your mum , and supporting her now will mean the world to her .. she taught you all to walk, talk, took you all to school ... watched you grow .. got through all your teenage years .. not easy ...  and helped you all to move on .. now its up to all of you to help her move on .. while still being able to talk about dad .. he's in all your hearts ... safe .. and I'm sure he'd want to see your mum happy .. that's what I'd want for someone if this cancer takes me ... 

    Chrissie

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    Hi sorry a bit late replying but crissie summed it up well i lost my partner just over a year and i can tell you its agony its the loneliest feeling in fact till you have gone through you just cant imagine it . I joined a social group not to meet a partner more just to get out a lady was talking to me that she would love to have someone to just go out with for a meal or cinama i dont know wether it was a hint or not but for me its not the time but your mums mums probably just looking for that  its not replace your dad its for a diffrent reason . So maybe cut her some slack i think she deserves it .just go along its difficult i know but you dont have to play happy familys just be polite your mums friend may have gone through the horrors of loosing a partner so they probably understand oneanothers pain just keep a distant eye on your mum as its all new to her so she may be excited about it and expect more than she gets .but your mums been on this planet a long time my kids think dad bit old fashioned what does he know but when it hits the fan where do they run to .its its going to be hard for you but dont worry things have a way of working themselves out if you leave them alone sorry been a bit rough on you but best say it how it is .i hope it all works out for you your mum and all your family best wishs .paul 

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