Hi there ...

So so sorry you lost mum to this crule cancer ... but you know emotions come and go ... all are normal, just go with however you feel at that moment .. my mum was my best buddy .. together all the time .. l didn't cry at her funeral .. just felt her near me , like she was saying she's o.k .. and right beside me ... felt the same sinse .. like she's been with me through my cancer ... never saw so many feathers everywhere.. 

I was 36 when I lost mum .. and I believe if we keep them safe in our hearts... take them along with us .. keep talking about them, then we never really loose them .. it's just when we put them away from thoughts .. although at first, thoughts and memories are painfull .. they bring piece in the end .. 

My son's put her photo in their face book even after 30 years ... she just came along for the ride ..so be kind to yourself... go with it ... and know your normal ... sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie  

Hey Chrissie

me and mum were best friends too, we were so similar and loved eachother a lot. I’ve found it hard tonight, I came to bed early and just been looking at photos of my mum, think I’ve made myself feel worse!!

Hi,

This post rings so close to home for me.

My Mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer on 24th july and died 17 days later on 10th august. 

She was in and out of GP for an ache/pain in shoulder/rin but no dodgy bloods until 27th june and even then first scans showed no cancerous signs. That was 10th july and it was gynae focused due to blood results. By 19th july she was very poorly and ct scan was had. She wasn’t a patient so I had to chase the hospital non stop for results before she was admitted via a&e.

only had her funeral on 5th September and i found the day helpful but no tears shed. I think i am scared to break down in case i never stop. She was my whole world. I can’t believe she has gone. She was young at 63. I have 2 children (nearly 4 and a 10mth old) which makes grieving impossible.

i think i want to speak to hospital and also request medical records from gp as just can’t believe it was missed. She had a chest x-ray in April which was all clear.

does cancer really spread so aggressively? How do you ever get passed the shock?

I think lung cancer stage 4 can spread very quickly with barely any symptom before it’s too late, mum was told all her vital organs were OK in May and come July her chemo wasn’t working and it had spread to her liver and then she died not longer after. However, mum was in hospital with a random infection of “septic arthritis” about 11 years ago, then she was told she had fibromyalgia - she told the GP they were talking nonsense and walked out as she didn’t believe them. All the pain she had was where the cancer was. If my mums GP Listened to her with the sore leg and tingling sensation back in January my mum wouldn’t have had permanent spinal damage meaning she couldn’t walk. It makes me really angry. I know they won’t always get it right but it’s disgusting the way they treat people. She actually told my mum she looked terrible and asked if she smoked and to get a new hobby, took her blood pressure and told her she was about to pop and get a bus to the hospital - she had to walk in agony cause she had no money!! I told my mum I thought she had high blood pressure cause of the pain - how did the GP not know this?!!!

Hi there ..

Sometimes cancers stay silent and we don't know untill it's to late... and yes some cancers are really agresive and can race through a body ... but I'm so so sorry .. our mum's arnt just mum's... they are our best buddies too .. and life is never the same after we loose them ... we have to find a new "normal" it does get easier .. but we never stop missing them .. but now we carry them with us in our hearts .. 

You say about your babies ... well ive got cancer and my little granddaughter and grandson in pic are my life , and I made a little memory book for my Emily to read when she grows .. it's photos and how I felt when she was born and her little bro ... and I wrote of all the things we'd done and said .. so even if they didn't remember they could look at that and know how much I loved them ... 

Just a thought but you could get photos of your mum and you growing up .. write down memories of her .. even though you'll cry doing it .. but oh my , you'll be pleased you did ... I wrote about my mum and about the day she died and how I felt and what happened... I still occasionally read it .. and still have a tear too .. but so glad I did .. coz memories blur later .. so I think a little memory book for your kids will really help when you feel ready .. and write memories of how she felt seeing them for the first time ... and anything else so they will feel like they know her ... 

My boys still put photos of my mum on their face book... 30 years on ... we've all brought her with us ...

Chrissie x 

This is just terrible to read and I am so sorry for you. I honestly have no clue how a GP can run all the standard stuff first when a CT and main bloods would iron out the details. Obviously I understand the reasons if I think about it logically. Funnily enough Mum’s GP also mentioned fibromyalgia I am going to request a meeting with the hospital and also request her medical records. It won’t change anything but it might help me move through to acceptance...

I would do that and write down questions you want answered. Make them answer them in a way you’ll understand, I’m sure they will try and cover their backsides though :-(. 

Hi there,

My daughter was very keen to see Mum so she had a final visit the day before and Mum rallied for it. I think she was waiting for my eldest as they had such a good relationship. They were her whole world. Mum never wanted to discuss her prognosis but I do wonder had ahe known if it might have helped. I am grateful her journey was quick even though some of the days were long through pain.

I am going to do a memory box for all 3 grandchildren and I am going to name a star after mum so they all have a place to look too. I also made a book for Mum’s 60thbof her life so I am going to add the children into the end of it so they can always read about her and themselves and the story they shared. Thought it might be nice especially for the under 1s 

Thank you for messaging and I will keep you in my thoughts. You sound very brave x