Grieving Mum 3 weeks on

3 weeks today since Mum fell asleep. Still isn't feeling real. Grief is not how I imagined it - I always thought I'd be bed bound, crying constantly, shutting myself off. Not this numb/zombie like state I'm currently in. Maybe that'll change soon.

Not sure when to go back to work. Not sure when to do alot of things. Life feels much emptier now. 

Just here to sound my thoughts and feelings out. 

 

Xx

  • Hi there ...

    Be kind to yourself .. it's still so raw .. there's no right or wrong way to feel or act or just be ... but remember she goes on through you ... you are half of her .. yes life will never be the same ... but just give it time ... and take every feeling as and when you feel it ... and say it's o.k to go through them all ... 

    Your mum lives tucked up in your heart now... where she'll never hurt again ... she's safe there .. and I know my mum's been with me over the years ... not when I looked for signs ... but when things happened like my cancer diagnosis... I found feathers everywhere... esp in my bra ... all the time ... then the day my surgeon told me the lump was low risk of spread and lymph nodes clear,  they stopped ...

    So hold on in there ... sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie x

  • I lost my mum 4 months ago. I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t know that I can help or advise you. My early feeling was and still is, to a large degree, disbelief. Total shock. I went through the surreal stage for about a month. Then it really hit me - I’m never going to see my mum again. I have young children - 6 and 8 - i have them as my focus which I think helps. My sisters kids are much older and she has more time to herself and it allows her more time to think. Sometimes I worry that I’m not facing things. I continue at a pace where I don’t slow down. I know I can’t outrun this bit similiarly, I don’t know how to manage it. I try to allow myself the permission to feel how I feel when I feel it. Don’t force things or avoid. I also feel quite alone in my thoughts. My advice is to talk of your mum, keep her presence in your conversations, meet with those who loved her. Take help if you need it. Accept the kindness of others

  • Hi sorry about your mum dont worry about the way your feeling whatever you feels ok so so early yet to feel anything ime telling you not for sympathy just so you know ive been through it ive had just about lost everyone over the years and i its  a diffrent grief each time 3 weeks you still be in the i cant believe it faze but it will get easier as time goes by how long is the type of person your mum made you .all you can do is just take it one day at a time till you become emotionaly stronger and start to work it all out in your head that theres no whys with this rotton disease and  you just have to take every day as it comes and slowly thoes days get eisier your mums mums still with you anyway they never realy leave us eventualy these horrid memmorie go and you remember happier times .best wishs .paul