Hi  what a rotton time you had it shakes you to the core hope you were not on your own if your realy getting flashbacks ands it effecting you go see your gp they can help you can get PTSD from this its not just soldiers who get it ime a senior citizen and ive watched people die but when i lost my partner it realy effected me so badly i had to go for help. maybe make a double appointment with gp dont try and tough it out yourself .allso  maybe ring local hospice and arrange some counciling its painful at first like opening old wounds but if you stick at it it can realy help and they will have better answers than we can give because they deal with it every day theres allso the cruz bereavement line numbers on the web and you could look for a support group to then you meet others like yourself it seems to help when you realize your not alone i cant realy add  much more other than to say how sorry i am .paul

Hi Paul, sorry for late reply and thankyou for replying to my message, it means alot. 

It's been a week now and I am feeling a little better but I have been busy all week so that's probablys why. 

So sorry to hear about your partner, it really is awful isnt it? Zoe 

I don't know Zoe but my Mum did the same thing. I'm too scared to Google it as I left the room when she started doing it and I'm so worried that she was looking for me and I wasn't there to reassure her :( 

Hi hun, I know it is the most frightening experience ever. I cant stop thinking about it.? I doubt she could see but I was told off the nurses he could here. It was the most frightening time of my life xx

It's awful isn't it, I'm literally haunted by her last moments. No one told us she could still hear us and I panicked so badly, that must have been an awful thing to hear and she kept putting her hand over her heart like she was in pain, so they just kept giving her morphine and muscle relaxants. 

The actual death is the bit nobody wants to talk about :( xx

Hi it shakes you to the core when they i whatched mum for 8 days from chatting to that rattle the morphines supposed to help that and breathing ill il honest i was just glad for liz that she missed all that but didnt help me like you i had flashbacks etc dr gave me something to calm my nerves thats why i suggested that to you but obviously your gp was not so sympathetic you have to loose a loved one before you can ever understand the anguish we fell and the councilling when you loose your partner there the one that supports you so its iike everything you were ever going to do all your future ends instantly with that last breath i only say what happend so people know i understand as to me that trains left the station but ive lost both parants so i know its not easy so if you can see about counciling the quicker the better i think it helped me know end but you have to keep going you might find it extremly hard at the beginning but it does help dont worry about replying late some dont at all i think sometimes people feel the world should know and dont come back on but we are all diffrent .paul