So so sorry your hubby was taken too soon ... but please, please don't feel guilty about the immunotherapy... just think if you'd told him not to have it, you'd still be here writting about feeling guilty you didn't make him ... there's been lots of good news comming from immunotherapy.... so it just wasn't right for him .. but we only regret what we don't do in life .. be proud you helped him to try and kick cancers butt ..
So many times people feel guilty about something .. it's as if we have to recall those things .. instead tell us what you did do .. bet it far out ways any negative things .. my heart goes out to you .. but you havnt lost him .. he's just tucked up in your heart now .. take him along with you on whatever path you go on .. I'm sure they look over us .. and as someone with cancer, I'd kick my close family up the bum if they ever felt guilty about anything .. he must be really proud of you .. missing him is hard enough ... but taking guilt with you never leaves ... it weighs you down ...
He was more then cancer ... think of that hubby before cancer struck so crule ... coz that's how id want to be remembered .. otherwise cancer takes more victims .. don't let it ...
Hi so sorry its a pain we dont think is possible like crissie says if you had done the opposit you would think why didnt i do that instead i i felt terrible guilt for the most triviul things that i forgot to do yet i bet you looked after him the best you could you see its in us this rotton guilt its called false guilt in time you work it out and one day when you start to think with your lodgical head on you will think whoo how sillily i i thaug this and tha but your not alone we all have those feeling so think the great things you did for him and those other thaughts will go i still get them a bit but nothing like rhey were .have you had any counciling that can help with these feelings and questions they dont all all the answers but a few realy helps and you need to talk as the world goes back to normal your there still hurting so a chat onece a week with a councciler who dosnt try to change the subject or put there foot in it can be a lifeline but you have to stick at it as at first it hurts to talk .best wishs paul
Hi Paulus thank you for your reply.It is so hard because he had only had immuniotherapy
the previous wednesday and all was well .feeling fit and no pain.made a lot of plans to go on holiday
but come the friday he started getting pains in his leg.Things just went down hill since and passed away
the following thursday morning after the nurse came in and give Morphine injection and 2 other meds,for
sickness.Yes, after this his colour changed within half an hour. By the time the ambulance
team came he was breathing shallow.though i was with him he didn,t say and it is so hard.i blame myself for calling the nurse out and not knowing if it was the morphine that caused his death?
Sadly i will never know because i did ask the doctor for a post mortem but i was put off??
I know i cannot change things but at least i would have got peace of mind knowing how.
so sorry i cannot wright more,but next time .thanks for reading.
O dear sorry its so painful i i thougt my liz would be with us for a few years she had first chemo monday massive stroke frid and 4 am sund sepsis took her we are left in shock disbeleife you name it in my case i i was releived for her as she died peacefully when its like this its awfull for us but for me i looked on it as a blessing because some have a horrible death i think sometimes what the he.ll happend even blamed myself even thoes i knew that was ridiculas but thats how grief works on us .but i feel liz with me i cant explain it but i do if you try to work it out it will send you round and round in circles you will eventualy just except that cancer can do that to anyone but its early for you yet just do what you can to hold on till you get emotionaly stronger .paul
Cali, I am so sorry. I don't have the answers but I don't think that the morphine would have caused his death, it would have just helped his muscles to relax so he could breathe easier. This is what the nurses told me last week when my Mum was dying. x
Yes we were planning going away with the caravan a few days before then liz was gone ita not like they portray it on the commercials for charitys a grandma seeing her grandson growing up etc its not like that at all your going through such a mixed up time now everything seems wrong its not how its supposed to happen it dosnt happen to us if only they showed cancer for what it does not the fairy tale on tv tv perh we could cope with it better but like all things we just have ro work it out in our heads once we do that its less painfull but till then all you can do is get through one day at a time
