Hi all
On 20th august, marked my mums first year anniversary of hrr death. Im finding it more difficult to cope this year than i did last year. I guess last year i was in shock even tho i knew it was coming.
She had stage 4 metastatic breast cancer which had spread very quickly due to complications after a hip replacement n unable to start chemo.
Her final few hours haunt me all the time. I can hear the screams i could hear her screaming out for god to take her cs she was in so much pain. How do you get over this? Iv tried counselling it didnt work, talking to my friends is like talking to a brick wall because they would only say things that they thought i want to hear, my family, have enough going on i hate burdening them.
I literally feel like a burden to anyone i speak to about this. I just want to speak to Mum. She knew me better than anyone.
Im completely and utterly lost and i cant seem to find myself. The only reason ive kept going is for my 9 year old daughter otherwise i believe i truly believe i would of followed Mum.
Time is not healing anything - for me its a living nightmare.
Not sure what i want from this; i guess some better coping methods.
Thanks for reading