I’m so sorry to hear about both your parents, what an awful shock it must be to lose them both so suddenly, especially your wonderful Mum. All our journeys are so different but ultimately, they end with the loss of one of our favourite people in the whole world and we are left to discover this new normal.

My aunt works with bereaved people and she says that they won’t take on anyone who has suffered a loss in the last 8 months because all grief, no matter how painful, is completely normal. There is no telling what is right or wrong, but there must be some kind of counselling you can have for such a sudden loss.

I really, really hope you have a good day, or even a good morning or afternoon, sometime very soon, and then you’ll realise that you can still love her and miss her but experience happiness at the same time too.

It’s been a terrible 2019, but we are not alone.

Pip X

Hey, how are you doing?

I haven't been on here for a while. Been pretty withdrawn from every aspect of life to be honest.

Things aren't any easier, now 8 weeks to the day since Mum passed and I actually woke up around the time she passed away, around 2am this morning. That's got to mean something. 

Also means I can't get back to sleep. 

How are things with you? Sleep any better?

Leona x

Hello LH, I’m having a bad day today. Mum passed on 11th Sep quite suddenly although battling terminal ovarian c. Dad couldnt wake her and called 999 and she arrested in the ambulance. I got the call at work and it was the most horrible nightmare imaginable. I was geared up for the long slow decline and bedside vigil.  None of us saw this coming.  Although she would have preferred the way she went and it was pain free.  But oh so sad for us left behind.  We went out for dinner two nights before and were planning christmas.  I’m absolutely devastated and tonight I’m inconsolable.

I’ve been at my dad’s since it happened. Today is my first night home and i feel bereft. I’m worried about my dad on his own and my own sanity.  I just full on melted down in my bathroom as I had been doing a jigsaw to relax myself and I clean forgot she was gone!  It hit me like a physical blow and took my breath away. My mum is gone.  Who will I ring when I need advice? Who will listen to my work stories and ask questions looking genuinely proud and intersted?  Who will ring me to remind me it’s my aunties birthday and ask how the kids are.  Who is in charge of the family now?  It can’t be me, I still don’t feel like a proper grown up even though I’m a mother and grandmother myself!! What in gods name am I going to do without her!

Hi so sorry about your mum if you feel so bad gps can help . Not much else i can say othere than maybe give your dad a call not a text in the morning and last thing at night it will probably help spking from experiance thats  the time it realy hits home .understand your shock happend to me but thats cancer its so unprodictable all we ever see is the success storys charitys put on tv then when it happens it catchs us out just one day at a time is all you can do maybe contact hospice for bereavment counciling ime not going to soft soap it for you it takes a long time and its mentaly exhausting just keep talking thats the best thing a good blub helps to my sympathys to you and your poor dad maybe have a read about some of the posts about signs after loss you may find that comforting and your dad theres many things in this world we will never understand and perhaps are not ment to ive been on this site quite a while now and read lots of posts from otheres and from what ive seen felt and read i dont beleive all the energy love and feelings dont just blink out of existance when our physical bodys wear out your mums probably around for a while to make sure your ok we know its there but we cant see it .paul

thanks Paul. you have responded to a lot of my posts and I can see you are a kind souled man who has been through hell.  your story of your wife’s passing really touched my heart.  I remember you saying about her always having a handkerchief in her hand.. so sweet.  I hope you are receiving the same comforting words back as you have given so many people on here.  you are like this sites guardian angel.  You’ve really helped me, and I’m sure so many other people.

I believe that the spirit goes on, I’m not a religious person, but I am a spiritual person, as was my lovely mother. she beleived that your conciousness became one with the universe and through this you would be able to watch over your loved ones until reunited. I believe this also.  and even if that turns out to not be true.. it brings me comfort in this life so I will continue to believe.

Laura xx

Yes when you post i try to keep reminding you about things we need it at the begging ime repeating myself i know but we need to be told we did our best which we did ime not repeating myself i remember how much your hurting just a reminder when you start to doupt yourself and the dark thoughts start to creep in i beleive and aggree with your mum sounds like your mum was a very wise lady you to .p