I understand how you feel. My advice would be ride this out the pain never leaves it just becomes part of you. Get outside in nature try not to stay cooped up as all you’ll want to do is to sleep so you don’t have to face the reality of what is going on. I also use to write down everything in my head in a journal. Going to a new destination where there is no memory of your mum might help you relax for a short time. Keep strong and look after your health 

Hi,

thank you so much for replying and your kind words. I wish I could sleep, can’t seem to manage more than a few hours at night but hopefully that will improve. 

Im trying to get outside. I take my puppy for long walks everyday which is nice until you meet people who feel the need to talk about mom

the big problem is I’m self employed and work from home so used to spend most of my time with mom by ourselves. Now when dad goes back to work just be me on my own. I want dad to go to work think he needs to but I’m dreading it for myself. There seems to be no good solution 

we had plans to move away to Wales before mom passed but we aren’t now. We’ve spoken about it but the problem is what happens if something happens to dad I’d be completely on my own miles away from family . The thought never bothered me before as used to think they would only be 3 hours away but now that thought petrified me. The thought dad could leave me scares me to death  he’s said he has no plans to leave me anytime soon but then mom didn’t either and that all happened within 5 weeks  

I don’t know anymore everything is just overwhelming and scary without her. Completely lost and broken 

Hi Lucyda,

I also had problems sleeping, but felt exhausted at the same time. Not sure if you have already done so, but maybe go to your GP, he/she may prescribe sleeping tablets which happened to me, I ended up taking natural Lavender tablets which helped as was worried about getting hooked on anything stronger....but the GP only had given me a prescription for a small amount of ( essentially valium) and I read other people on this form have found them useful.

I am sorry you're struggling so much, it is hard, the only advice I can give is to take an hour or day at a time, it's good to take the walks you mentioned, I found I just wanted to be outside. Although it won't feel like it now, you will be stonger than you think, there are no easy answers I don't think with grief and even though a lot of people post similar thoughts and feelings and understand, it's still personal to each of us and we're all different. 

It is 11 months since my beautiful mum passed away and I think of her daily but I know in my heart she wouldn't want me to feel sad, me and my family have to move on; that doesn't mean forgetting, not at all, but trying the best we can to support each other.....I understand when you talk about your dad, we grieve for our loss and also others, it is very painful.

I hope that as time moves on, your journey and your dad's will become easier to bear.....I come onto this forum for help, I still need it but trying to be strong and remember mum with happier memories.

Thinking of you and your dad at this difficult time.

Linda

x

Hi linda 63 hope your ok if there the valium type there for anxiaty and to calme your nerves  .but they do help with sleep .they do make you a bit dopy but they take a bit of that stark reality away just till you can cope a tad better best wishs .paul