Hi Gina,

I lost my Granny a few months ago. We were incredibly close, and have always been since I was born. I wont lie and say I feel any better about it now than I did when she died, but my only comfort is knowing that she isnt having to go through chemo, or radio or being in pain.

I think I have always seen my family as indestructable, and watching her have to go through that over the past few years was heart breaking. My throat is literally burning writing this, but, as upset as I get when I think about how much I miss her, I also have so many wonderful memories that I will always treasure. My Granny was also a great grandmother, and I am just so so pleased my children were able to build the same relationship as I had with her. 

I havent written on here before, always reading but not really knowing what to say. I still look at the chats even though she has been gone for a few months now. But it helps me feel a little bit closer to her when I am down. My mum was devastated, and I really didnt want my grief to overshadow. Its not a competition, and believe me, your mum will want you to talk to her about it. I always talk to my mum now. We usually both end up in absolute tears, but I dont want to not talk about her because she was such a massive part of our lives.

I hope the funeral goes as well as it can.

xxx

Hi gina so sorry about your nan . But dont go into yourself as its hard to get out you need to talk to your mum yes she will be finding it hard and probably needs you to a good cuddles great and sounds like you both need one . Ive three adult kids and seven grand kits love em all like your nan did . I cant give you any advise othere than stick close to your mum for both you sakes . Ime sure your nan will be happy seeing that she will be around we dont just die and thats it we are ful of energy and life it cant just disapear its not possible just take one day at a time eh keep talking .best wishs to you your mum and your family paul

Thanks Paul. I know you are right as its not healthy going in to yourself as you say. I just think I have this particular hard and never fully appreciated just how hard this would be. I lost my nan to cancer on my dad's side 7 yrs ago, my dad's wife 2 years ago and my younger cousin when he was just 16 so am not new to experiencing loss of life however losing my nan now feels horrendous.

My mum has gone home now as she doesn't live in the same city as us, she has to go back to work tomorrow which I know she is dreading but I am hoping it will do her good as she will be surrounded by people.

I appreciate your response and words regarding being a grandparent yourself and take the point that my nan or my mum wouldn't want me suffering alone. I am a parent too and so wouldn't want my son feeling like this I just don't want to overshadow my mums grief as I know she she is struggling to deal with this very much so. Cruel word and wicked disease but the circle of life and emphasises how we need to embrace and appreciate everything and everyone.