O dear daisy ime not surprised you feel this way .please dont distance yourself from your mum or the guilt will follow you throught your life . You must be on school hols or i i would sujest you spk to one of you aloted tutors. Even if you cry and everything its its better than that that will hurt your mum stick close to her as you will never be able to get that time back .you know the samartans are there for you the numbers free from your mobile there there 24/7 so if you find it getting to much you can ring them its a waiting list but you dont wait long just ring and tell them whats happening they will chat to you they dont take your name or number just a kind voice maybe a little bit of advice they dont judge it dosnt matter how old you are if you ring and you get one you cant dwell with say thanks ring off and ring back . Allso theres the mcmillan help line . Thats free to and you will get some very kind people on here and young people going through what you are .sit and have a word with your dad ask how he is he must be realy struggling. Stick close to your family if you feel a blub coming just go out right now your mum will need all rhe support she can get you will get throu this .paul

Hay daisy ...

Oh my hunny ... this cancer sure sucks ... and my heart goes out to you ... 

My niece lost her dad at 13 and my friends daughter lost her mum to breast cancer at 17 .... 

I've also chatted to a few on here in your situation .. and even a year on still hear from them occasionally..  now I know your feeling isolated right now .. and confused and angry ... and not sure where to turn .. but you know on here, we all know the emotions we go through, because wer living it .. but your age is one of the hardest ages to go through this .. just at a time when you need your mum most ...

Now I know you think trying to pull back may help you cope more .. but it won't... this time with your mum is precious... every second your with her .. is a memory you'll keep in your heart through life .. it's gonna be one of the hardest things you'll ever do .. but hold on in there ... you can't make it go away .. but even at your age you can hold her hand and just sit and be there .. you don't need big memories .. just sitting looking at photos ... ask about her life ... bet there's lots you don't know ... 

Ask your dad about getting you councilling when you feel ready ... Marie Currie is a good place to start .. look at their home page ... I know I can't make this better .. but I have been through this with others and know from them just how it feels ... I will send you a friend request.. and if you would like a chat and be able to talk about anything ... I'm a nanny to 6 and know how much it means to have someone who understands ... the friend request is up to you .. but I'll be there if ever needed ...

Sending you a vertual nanny hug ... it's a spiecial hug l save for my little amazing granddaughter... and I know she'd want you to have one ...  Chrissie x 

Hey, I'm also the same age as you. My mum have just passed away this evening. I was like you, from crying every night and every toilet trip. I try not to be with my mum often too but in the end I felt a pang of regret now. Luckily on her last days I've been visiting her. 

Currently I'm typing this, feeling numb. It all feels unreal and my tears dried as if I drained it all. Please talk to your closest friends if you could, they'd surely understand your situation. You can talk to me if you want, I am still shocked even now and will visit her resting place tomorrow.

You can private message oneanother support each other you may find it realy helps sharing pain is halving it