Hi ime so sorry .i can relate to your loss and sadness we were together a bit longer maybe because love was still exciting it hurts all the more but to me how long we are together is not important seems like a badge of office the lenght someone is to gether there lucky to have that long but it does get eisier as time goes by have you had any counciling it can answer some questions and as we have lost our friend confidant the one you ring or confide in has gone that hour a week can realy help . But depends on diffrent people how they deal with loss . As to me ive pushed myself to get out for walks joined a social group and it gets me out genraly for meals as there are people who have lost there partners so tend to be a bit more understanding .i feel my liz round me to i cant explain it its a feeling i dont think we die and thats it thers something next not the god thing i itill talk to my liz at times if things are a bit fraught or ime going out but just take it one day at a time its a nonsensical saying but it is true i wish i i could be more help but its a lonely road but one day the sun starts to shine again all you can do is just carry on .so sorry again .keep coming on talking is best even when we dont want to .best wishs paul