It has been 18 weeks since I lost my amazing 58 year old dad to this vile disease. Oesophagus spread to the liver with the operation to cure ripped away only 6 weeks before he was due to have the op after intense treatment. Not only did this cruel world take away my dad, it took away him being a grandad for the first time to my son who was born 2 weeks after he went to sleep and a grandad to my sister due in September. My mum, sister and I are truly devastated and I don’t think will ever come to terms with this.

We pulled our wedding forward to September once we knew it had spread, but didn’t expect him not to be here. In those last few days I promised my dad I would do it for him, but now it is getting closer I am no where near ready to have the big white wedding I always dreamt of, things aren’t the same, they will never be the same and the thought of walking down the aisle at the church (with my amazing mum) has us in tears just the thought of it. 

I wont cancel it, I promised him and I do want to be married. I just wondered if there were any similar experiences - so many big life events so close to losing your someone special at such a young age. X