Hi in a way you are a little lost girl and whe shouldnt you feel that way your going through one of the most traumatic things in your life its dont try to be to strong or people will lean on you more to many leaning on a wall and it falls over .ive been there . Just stick together your dad and brother that realy helps go out for walks all these little things seem unhelpfull but together there a big thing you may want to look for counciling early yet just take one day at a time its a lonely road is grief but all roads lead somewhere in your case its to healing ims so sorry about your mum keep coming chatting to us there are many kind people on here who understand what you are going through some further on some the same .best wishs paul

Hi Carol,

thank you  so much for replying and with such a lovely message. I really like your idea of talking to her pictures, that is something I’m definitely going to do. The worst thing is now that she has gone, I need her more than ever as she would be the one I would talk to about this.

we finalised the order of service wording for her funeral today and I’ve picked her favourite songs but honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through the service listening to them on Thursday.

Im so sorry to hear your husband has lung cancer,  I understand how hard that is. I truly hope he can beat it and make a full recovery 

love lucy x

Hi Paul,

thank you you for replying and your kind words. I’m really pleased I decided to post here, as feel it’s a place I can say how I feel without worrying I’m upsetting my dad and brother 

Dear Lucy, you will find the strength to get through the service, does it matter if you break down, no one will mind that you are grieving, it's Mum's funeral you can cry.  Mine died of dementia and her last year was so sad I would hate for you to have seen your Mum deteriorate.  This is going to be a long journey for you but you will get through it no matter how long it takes.  Love Carol x 

Hi Lucyda

I am so sorry to hear your sad news.  I am in a similar situation to you having lost my Dad 4 weeks ago.  He was also in perfect health in May and was admitted to hospital and died within 2 weeks of being in hospital where they discovered he had widespread cancer in his bowel, liver, lungs and adrenal glands.  We were also told months that he had so it is a shock when they pass so quickly.

I totally get how you are feeling, we had the funeral last week and I am now at the point where the grieving has started as I was so involved with all of the planning of the funeral and like you looking after my Mum and sister who didn't or couldn't get things sorted.  I am 42 and Dad was 79 years old but I am still sad that he was in Costa Rica having a fab holiday in May and now he is in heaven.

All we can do is take comfort in that their fight with cancer was short and they are now in peace but it really does hurt us.

I hope the funeral goes ok for you and you can celebrate her life.

Lots of hugs

Dawn

Hi so sorry about your dad dosnt matter how old we are its probly worse for you mum as her futures gone in an instant she will be totaly lost. Might i suggest you take her for a checkup to gps just to check her heart as all the stress hormones come at once and shes not that old by todays standards its a rotton disease in as much as it can just suddenly become aggressive and i think we are lulled into a false sence by charitys showing grans surviving etc but its not like that at all they do us a disservice realy as it makes the shock even more so onece again sorry about your poor dad . Paul 

Thanks Paulus.

She is ok, her GP has spoken to her and offered sleeping pills.  She talks to his picture every day and watches TV with Dad 's picture facing the TV so if that's how she wants comfort I will leave her be.  We all grieve differently.  She is 71 so a lot younger than Dad and in very good health. 

Dawn

Thats good i talke to my partner in bed not often but i feel her and perhaps your mum does to i dont think we do die and thats it . You may find you feel things nothing you can put your finger on call it sixth sence or whatever but its given me comfort . Best wishs paul

Hi Paul

I definetely believe there is something after death.  I have been to mediums and things they have told me NO one else would know and very detailed and specific.

We keep being sent white feathers from no where, robins keep appearing and weird things are happening.  Even after the funeral my ring doorbell rung, I answered the door quickly no one there, looked down road no one in sight and didn't even record on the ring app, it was like Dad was saying he was coming in. 

Dawn