Hi there Julie - this is very, very sad for you & the shock of it must be difficult to cope with. Feeling completely devastated & heartbroken  is perfectly understandable & it all takes time to come to terms with & accept. In this regard try, if you can, just to take things hour by hour & not look too far ahead. We human beings are funny creatures - we tell ourselves we can't bear something whilst at the very same time that's exactly what we are doing even tho' it doesn't feel that way. You are probably much stronger than you think you are & somehow you will find a way to struggle thro' this awful loss.

It's important to tell people how you feel so that they can help. You've done that here so do keep posting whenever you feel like it & talk to people here who have been thro' it & understand how you feel. xx

Hi Julie

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's passing.  It is heartbreaking when you think things are slowing down and then all of a sudden everything acclerates as you just don't have time to accept it all. 

My Dad was taken into hospital with a fever and they discovered cancer in his lungs, liver, bowel and adrenal glands during a CT scan.  He looked so well despite loosing his appetite a bit which we put down to his age.  He died just 12 days later in the pallative care unit at the hospital.

All I would say is that you can take comfort in is that he didn't struggle in his few minutes and that he is no longer in any pain.  My Dad's passing was similar and very quick but it hurts that he never came home as we were expecting a full recovery from his fever.

We had the funeral last week and it's only now that I feel I can grieve as I was responsible for sorting most of the funeral.  Our celebrant said everyone handles grief differently and you must be open and honest with this around you.  I get comfort from looking at videos of him and going up to the crem and just sitting there but that's my way of handling the grief.

Please know you are not alone and happy to chat :)

Dawn x