Hi so sorry it seems to kick in at about 4 months its horrible .yes your right people seem to move on and your still hurting it seems to be the norm but she wasnt there mum do you find people tend to change the subject when you bring up your mum it seems to be the norm . Have you had any grief counciling this is when counciling comes into its own .you get to talk about your grief and the councilers dont change the subject at least for an hour a week its for YOU you dont don people stealing your grief crissies right takes a good while to get through the pain but you will .might i suggest giving the

Snamaritens

a ring its free from your mobile just chatting to someone for five mins can realy help you can ring as many times as you like if you cant gell with that person just say thanks and ring back . You can get councilling from local hospice or gp surgery its the lonelyness gets you mainly .but you know your mumss still around we never realy die ime sure she will be watching over you .just hold on keep telling yourself tommorow it will be a bit eisier and one day that tommorow will be your mind might think your forgetting your mum but it comes back its just our brains protecting us .best wish .paul

Hello sweetie - it's dreadful that you have lost your mum when are so young & it's really not surprising that you are finding it so hard. 4 months isn't a long time at all & you say for the majority of the time you're fine. You know sweetie that's normal & I assure you that people here do understand. We've all lost people from cancer & know just how heartbreaking it is. Some days it's just about ok & other days it feels like it's just happened & the feelings are overwhelming.

Trying to accept that its happened isn't something that happens quickly I'm afraid - it takes quite a bit of time. What's hard is accepting that grief is sometimes a long process. Think of it as a long & winding road & try to picture the road in your mind. It has to go around lots of bends & up & down hills & goes on quite a long way. As you travel along it though you will see some good things - like a nice stream (the things your mum did for you), a meadow full of buttercups (how your mum made you smile). These are things you will remember about your mum on this road. Sometimes there will be very dark clouds & you won't see the road clearly & it will make you unhappy & worried & then there'll be some sunshine. Ins & outs & ups & downs until the road runs out & you have come to the end where all will be ok.

So, so difficult I know sweetie but your mum brought you into the world so you could live a life & that includes all the good things & the very, very sad. You must do your mum proud by travelling along the road no matter how tough it is & make her even more proud of you than she already was.

You say you want your mom back but you know she's inside you - she won't ever leave you no matter how old you get to be. I'm old now & my dad died when I was 24 but he's still inside & now he just makes me smile. Trust in the good that will come in the not too distant future - truly it will.

Post again sweetie if you'd like to. xx