Am so sorry you have lost your dad what you are going through is normal for you everyone deals with loss different and what one person does is not the same you grieve in your own way at your own pace prayer helps crying  helps my youngest two were 14 n 15 when my m passed talking helps xxx

Thank you for your reply, I knew the advice would be along these lines as it’s what family and friends have said I think I’m probably hoping someone will say you need to do such and such and you’ll feel ok sorry for your loss I hope with time you’ve learnt to deal with things x x

Yes my husband has terminal cancer my sons on drugs and am living in a new place where a don't know anyone a had to leave my job to look after my husband so am isolated but I know am not on my own things will get better and they will for you too x

Hi,

My two children were in their thirties when we lost their dad to terminal cancer and between us the range of emotions as we grieve was like a rollercoaster and sometimes still is (this was over 4 years ago now). However you feel is your personal way of 'coping' with the loss of your Dad and can sometimes change hour to hour. day to day and onwards. I do not believe there is a right or wrong way to grieve at the sadness (anger too) that such a loss brings.  

On a personal level I was fortunate to find this site whilst my husband was ill and being able to talk here freely helped then and often still now. Sometimes when I cry I cannot even explain why the tears come but just came to accept that I needed the relief when it happened.  Less now and time brings various kinds of acceptance. 

If and when you feel you need more support do not be afraid to ask for it. Quiet hugs between our family were sometimes all that was needed and the memories you have now will remain in your heart.

Whilst I do not know you or your Dad I send condolences at this very sad time.  Jules54

sorry to hear all of what’s you’re going through it seems you have a positive attitude though. Take care x

Yep your normal . Just about everything you feel is absolutly right for You !!! Its your brains way of dealing with the shock diabeleife and the big what ifs its a hard lonely road is grief as only you know how you feel and yes you will get back to normal . As time goes by the pain dwindles you may be worried your forgetting your dad but it comes back . Ime going to say take one day at a time sounds a pointless saying but its what you have to do .ime so so sorry about your dad but dont worry hes around as true love never dies and neither does our life energie .best wishs to you and all your family if your mums still with you stick bye her she will be totaly lost and great support for oneanother .paul

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, I’m very sorry for your loss and so grateful that you’re able to try and comfort others after everything you’ve been through x

Thank you Paul that’s comforting to know, it’s very strange for me finding comfort in strangers rather than my own family but I’m not ready to admit to any of them that sometimes I don’t feel sad as it may hurt their feelings, I can talk about what I remember so easily it’s like I’m talking about someone else and that my dad is still at home with my mum, I’ll take it day by day though. Thanks again x

He probably is just in a diffrent way early yet just stick close to your family we do draw strenght fom otheres as time goes by try some bereavment counciling for you and your mum it helped me in my case it was my partner but been over a year now and just picking up a bit now and making a new life of sorts .keep your chin up just go with how you feel and you will be fine may not seem that way at the moment but it will you will not forget just the memories will be nicer .

Hi Kelly,

I still think like that about my mother eight months on, I still think she's still in her house pottering around and I will see her again. I think sometimes it's as if my brain can't handle the loss of never seeing her again and it's the only way I can cope. Even writing this it doesn't feel as if I'm writing about my mother someone I saw every day.

Please don't feel guilty of how you feel or don't feel, you're probably heard it before but it's true we all grieve differently. My sister cries a lot whereas I have bursts of tears and a sharp pain in my heart but then I can carry on even though it feels like my life is not 'real' right now. I thought my life would fall apart without my much adored mother but still it carries on. I guess we have no choice but to carry on the best way we can.

Take care and take comfort in your children as I'm sure you are, my children have been a blessing to me we talk lots about my mother which helps. You know how much you loved your Dad and how much he loved you. You do what is best for you.

X x x