Hi everyone, I feel very strange doing this however i see the aamzing coments and support this comunity provides. 

My parent died suddenly of a rare bowl cancer, diagnosis to death in 10 weeks. during that time he was in and out of hospital care, with many moments we thought he wouldnt make it due to infection etc. However towards the end he wanted to be at home so myself and my family made sure he could be. It was intense, with many nappy changes and carrying to shower to wash off the exrement. That along with medication and pain relief, watching him in agony. It was just horrific. Before home care could make it he passed. I couldnt face the room initially but when i finally did i rgretted it instantly, i did not want to ever see a parent i loved lying cold and hollow. I never wanted to and I always said i wouldnt do it when the time came. This was over a year ago now and although ive been through the process of grief, and yes things do get better and easier, I cant move on from the final image left in my head. I wake up in tears, i relive the moments, i just cant forget the traumatic and dramatic ending I never thought I would have to experience as then a girl in her late 20's.How do you move on and remember the good times, not the bad? How long does it take? I dont mean to sound self pittying at all, I know i'm not alone in my experiences. I just want to forget the end.