I’m so sorry for your loss, a week is such a shock and I’m imagining you’re really feeling so shocked and can’t understand what’s happened. I lost my mom and not a partner but my dad will see things from your perspective, having lost his wife of 55 years. There’s no magic words or action that will make things better I’m afraid, all I can say is please be kind to yourself and surround yourself with good, kind caring people who will allow you to grieve how you need to. You need to be able to express your grief how you feel as not being able to will make you turn in on yourself and take you down the wrong paths. Take each single day as it comes. My dad keeps himself busy, he makes sure he goes out and makes sure he eats regularly. I feel so sorry for him, he’s so lost but trying so hard. Please allow your family to look out for you and spend quality time with them. I wish you all the best, please look after yourself x

Hi so sorry you lost your pete loosing a partner is about the worst they are everything to us and there physical absence every minuit reminds us of our loss we never get releif from wakening to going to sleep its been a year last june for me i liz is always there in my head but the pain is dwindling i miss her every minute of the day but dont feel lonely because i feel her round me not all the time but at the beginnig and i bet pete is to do tell me have you ever felt that somethings with you i dont think we just blink out of existance i truely think our energy thoughts feelings and the love just mixes in with everyone elses must be lovely never to feel alone again but we are not alone we are just bye ourselves we have familie friends so we are never truely alone and i think when we go we will mix in with liz pete and all the rest who have passed.so maybe you dont agree but its a nice thought to have in our heads .best wishs to you .paul

Thank you yes it was such a shock but I know he wouldn’t have wanted me to not live my life but without him at the moment is unbearable

Yes he will be there its a very comforting feeling i had it in bed i could feel a warmth not a touch just a feeling just dont look for it  it comes and i know its not our minds playing tricks .p

I hope you are doing ok. It’s lovely to feel your husband’s presence when you’re in the garden, I do believe our loved ones are around us and do try to communicate with us. Just after mom died I had several strange occurrences which I put down to mom being there, lovely but unexplained smells and things falling over with nothing touching them. They’ve reduced in frequency now but I’m always looking and waiting for another ‘sign’. Sometimes you can be acting completely ‘normal ‘ and doing your normal routine and then it suddenly hits you that  that person is no longer here and it feels like the beginning of grief all over again. What it’s comes down to is the feeling of disbelief, I just can’t believe this illness happened and took mom. You read about it, you hear about it but it’s something that happens to other people.  Then it happens to your family. It’s real. 

   Please look after yourself and be kind to yourself x

I agree with all that you have said I find suddenly I can’t bear being on my own and wondering about the future it seems so unbelievable that the love of my life has gone from me. I do believe I will see him again one day but at the moment that doesn’t help.

Thank you Ruth you obviously know exactly what I am going through and your email was very helpful. At the moment I seem to be going backwards it is so hard being responsible for myself and our home. I panic when I go shopping and feel so alone. Yes my family are wonderful and also all our lovely friends and I am kept busy during the day. Thank you once again. It is 41 days since I list him

Delphine

Hi i think sussan ruth just about said it all. myself i went for walks in the park felt awfull but when i got back i just felt a tad better after about four months the pain started to ease a bit but i went straight out got counciling joined bereavement group and started to rebuild as it all went when i lost liz . Suzzan ruth had a new horse coming so hope thats helped her to kind of her to come on and give you support when shes suffering herself but i think we come out kinder more understanding just hold on to the thought you will not be in despair forever and one day you will wake up and think what a nice day .paul