I feel so angry all the time

Hi,

I needed to write something, as I feel things are getting worse. 

I lost my mum to cancer 4 years ago and we were very close.  I myself had only got over breast cancer and 2 years later my mum got ill and it all came as a massive shock.

My dad didn't cope well at all and things were very hard for all of us. 

I've never had a good relationship with him and since my mum passed, things between did improve, but lately it has gotten worse again.  When he sold the family home, he discussed with my husband and I that he wanted to help us financially to move home and for several years he kept mentioning that he still wanted to help till we got things organised.  He has now turned round and said he cannot help at all, as he feels he needs to put money aside for his care when he can no longer look after himself.  I can understand that, but when he kept promising this and now nothing, I've been left feeling very angry and disappointed by him and feel I cannot deal with his empty promises anymore.  He's done similar things in the past and also to my siblings.  I am now not speaking to him and he has taken upon himself to make me feel guilty and that he's the wounded individual.  I feel like I'm just going round this same old wheel and whenever sometimes bad happens, it overemphasizes how much I miss my mum and what a huge part of me is missing and nothing can make that better

 

  • Hi there ...

    I'm a bit miffed at what your angry at ... your dad lost his wife and sold their home ... so he lost his wife and home ... I'm sure he initially wanted to help .... but as a pensioner now myself am really worried about the cost of care if I ever need a rest home ... my sister has dementure and is in a care home witch costs the earth monthly... and her daughter is finding it really hard as she's been in there a year now .. and finding 1500 a month isn't easy ... but she does it saying her mum brought her up all those years , now its her turn ... and dementure could hit your dad ... I can so understand how he feels ...

    All I got from my mum as she had a council house was the ring I brought her with my first wage ...  but she left me far more then money ... wonderfull memories ... and my dad had to go into a care home for 4 years as he had chest problems from working down the pit all his life ... we all helped with his care ... he left me enough for my 40th birthday do ...

    They fed us .. they put food on our table .. and put up with the teenage years .. struggled years ago to bring up a family when things were so hard ... they never complained ... and I know you miss your mum we all do .. but you've still got a dad .. and I'm sorry, but cannot for the life of me understand why your angry ... Chrissie..   : ((