Hi,

My partner was diagnosed with lung cancer 12 months ago and apart from going to chemotherapy appointments I kept going into work (teaching Deputy Head) up until February when my partner became more ill, then I got a note for sick leave so that I could spend time caring for him and spending time with him. Unfortunately he passed away on 12th April and at the moment I cannot contemplate going back to work, so under the circumstances I don’t even think a further 2 weeks is enough time for you to mend in anyway. You are already doing more than enough by keeping fit (I have lost so much weight I am not going back to the gym yet) and also taking your doctors advice is essential I have found. Being a teacher is hard work and I can’t possibly give the children in my care the care and commitment they deserve when I am broken myself and I think you should think this way too..

Take care,

Lynn  

Hi I'm sorry for your loss my mum passed away in August last year aged only 60 I'm 42 and I still have days where it hits me hard I hate cancer so much I wish you all the best

Please don’t worry how much time you take off, you need to look after yourself now. I lost my mom 13 weeks ago but unfortunately I work in the hospital where my mom died. I’m finding it very hard but also feel others think I should be ‘over it’ by now. It’s hard to keep your feelings to yourself. Please look after yourself and do what you need to. I’m sorry for your loss and keep going but cry when you need to. Don’t keep grief bottled up because it needs to come out now or sometime later x

Hi,

I understand how you feel-i lost my mum 4 weeks ago. She had been poorly for a long time but her death was very sudden. I have been off work since then and am due back Monday for the new term(also work in a school). I am suddenly dreading it and do not feel ready to 'put on a brave face' and think I will end up asking for more time so do not worry at all. What we are all going through is horrific and life changing and after the years you have had together, you cannot expect the pain of the loss to go away within such a short time. Our jobs mean so little in comparison to our emotional wellbeing. 

Look after yourself and your daughter xxx

Hi,

Thank you for your post. I am really sorry to hear about your mum. It really is a nightmare! Good luck!

Hi,

Thank you so much for your very kind and reassuring post. 

I am not surprised you are finding it hard to work.......I admire your strength. Hope you also took time off to process your feelings. Ive not experienced grief before....not immediate family and its something else.

Dont worry if people think you should be 'over it' by now....that is a very ignorant thing to think. It takes as long as it takes and we are all different. Im also so sorry for your loss.

Thank you again

Hello and thank you for your response! 

Its very reassuring however I am very sorry for your loss and I completely understand you taking more time off. 

I feel like everything has fallen down around me and Im sat in the rubble trying desperately or at least wishing I could get back to normal and feel ok again.

I cannot put on a brave face either....I have not got the strength. The time I have taken off is also about valuing my own self worth as I am not very good at that and not sweeping anything under the carpet. We all deserve to be able to get well in a way that suits us.

Thank you again and I wish you all the very best.

Hi chicy we all feel like that they way you put its like sat surrounded by rubble but just hold on you will get your strengh back and start to clear the rubble grief is exhausting and we get weak but we humans are stronger than we think just look after yourself dont sit at home or it lasts longer  eat properly as we tend to neglect ourselfs but the pain does dwindle in time .paul ps dont worry about self-esteem we all have problems with that the strongest of us we just hide it better sounds like your ok on that score just from what ive read its just we are better actors