I've lost so many people to cancer

Is it normal to have known so many people that have had cancer?

I lost my grandfather to bladder cancer (and stroke) when I was 7. Over the years it seems like someone I know either dies, or gets diagnosed with cancer every few years!

My mother passed away from lung cancer a year ago. 

I have lost at least three aunts to breast cancer and two uncles to cancer of unknown cause.

My mothers old neighbour, who rescued cats (and who gave me one of the darling cats that I still have) died of lung cancer.

My mother lost three friends to cancer, and one friend in remission.

My friends husband, in remission.

My boyfriends sister had a friend, whom I met that was my age, died of breast cancer. 

My boyfriends uncle is currently battling cancer.

My sisters ex mother in law died of it.

Three of my friends have lost their mothers and/or fathers to cancer. 

The husband of one of my sisters friends died of bone cancer.

These are all people I have known (apart from the 3 aunts that died of breast cancer before I was born). These are all people that I have been to parties and socialized with. 

And there are a few other people I have known, but it would just end up being an essay if I literally mentioned every single person I have ever known that has had cancer. It's just crazy. I'm 42 and I have seen so much cancer in my life. 

Moving forward in life, I have to admit, that I think about cancer all of the time and I know that it isn't healthy. But is it normal to know of so many people that have battled and/or died of cancer? It really does make you realize that the 1 in 3 statistic is pretty real!

 

  • As I noticed no one replied to your post yet I thought I may stop by to say hello, Serapine8.

    I can appreciate why you think about cancer all the time, after having seen what you saw and lost so many people who were close to you due to cancer but I'm afraid I don't have an answer for you.

    If one thing cancer is never fair, is it? And I think the randomness of it all makes matters much worse. On the positive side, science is progressing at an enourmous speed and that should give us some hope.

    I'm not sure if my reply helped at all, but I hope it did at least a little.

    Stay strong, Serapine8 and think we're all on this together.

    Best wishes,

    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi its everywhere now you cant even whatch tv tv without we are bombarded with it i was 65 a few weeks ago and further on than you but every 10 mins there telling us if we dont dont take out this death insurance of funeral expenses insurance we are bad parants all the two bit cellebrity scroats are advertising it like you i i lo mum and dad to cancer ive two brothers surviving it for the moment and ive have a granddaughter that had leuchemia thats 43 now that had it when she was nine . And of course my liz lho had two types of cancer .i know you have sufferd a lot loosing your mum its strange but nice how mums and daughters have a bond we men seldom have i was the rebel acording to mum .but we have to go on for them they live on through us and we have talked about the afterlife a few time with otheres we live in a universe that cant be there just by chance so i do think theres a plan or something going on and the universe wasts nothing so i think your mums out there and liz and all the othere loved ones we have lost just somwhere els but its time they stopped all this hawkin for money have you thaught of going away on hols no telly news .i i have a boat i spend weekends on it i dont listen to they radio i have a dvd player i just watch nice happy films and no c word or death it just charges me up and the funny thing is ime not lonely in fact ive never been more at piece because i feel something around me .so why not at least have a weekend shut the world out no tv or radio just nice things .paul ps this was to serapine 8 sorry

  • Thanks for the reply. Yes, I'm going on a holiday soon and I can't wait!!! My dream has always been to move to the west coast of Canada where there are oceans and mountains. I stayed in this part of the country largely so that I could help my elderly ailing mother. Now that she is gone, I feel ready for a change. So my boyfriend and I are going to spend 10 days on the west coast. We'll do some hiking, exploring, meals out etc. I'm so excited for a change!

    I'm so sorry that apart from Liz  that you too have experienced so much cancer. I think you are right, it is everywhere! I know that I'm not alone in knowing so many people with it. It's hard to stop thinking about it. But I am trying to focus on cheerful t.v and movies, been going out for daily walks and just focussing on me for a bit. I'm now at a point where I feel like I need to take a rest from grieving so much. It's not that I'm forgetting my mother or anything. But it's just too big to fully process and I have to try and be happy with what I have. I know that's how she'd want things to be. All the best.

  • Hi everything you have said sounds like a good plan like your mum i wouldnt want my kids to spend there lives grieving you have your life to lead now . Ime getting my life back in order now as i said my boat gets me away from hourly reminders of this disease and dieing by the media from companys hawking there life and burial policies and cancer every 4 minites now they say on tv its shameful .regards paul

     

  • Hi seraphine, i can understand you very much. I've lost family & friends to C now I've got it it's non curable I've had it over 3 years now, these ads on TV don't help when I try to relax and forget for a while, but like they say life goes on. Enjoy what we have make to best of what you've got. Best wishes.

    Billy 

  • Hi billy you sent message to me i do that all the time.yes its about time they stopped all this hawkin for money on tv i i kn its not ilegale but its moraly wrong ime so sorry you have c but so glad your still with us keep it up we need as many kind people on here that reach out even when there suffering themselves its never ending .best wishs to you .paul

  • Hi Paul, i think i can't do much to improve my self, so I try to help (relax) others i find its a bit therapeutic for me helps take my mind off my problems a bit (might sound strange talking to others about C but it works).

    Billy

    P.s my wife's had C as well 

  • Yes i do understand your resons completly but kindness comes into it to .hope your wifes ok to regards paul