Dear eventualdiamond

i am so sorry to hear that you have lost your beloved husband at such a young age and also your dear children.

you will be coping with an awful lot , not only trying to get through your own grieving but your children’s as well, and fully understand the resentment you feel towards close ones who are trying to help you, I felt this when I lost my dear father and wished it was them instead.

you need to take one day at a time, this is extremely raw for you right now, draw on the strength of your beautiful children that you and your husband created , if close ones are too much ask them for time alone  and having unusual dreams is are minds way of trying to understand are own emotions. 

There is no right or wrong way for our emotions to behave when grieving, take it slowly and please look after yourselve.

take care

Dear eventualdiamond

it sounds like you are going through the hardest experience life could ever throw at someone. 

You could not possibly be expected to deal with this all by yourself. I’m not sure what your situation is regarding finding the time to speak to a professional counsellor or therapist, but I think it’s likeky something you really need right now. Especially as - amongst all of your feelings of anger, guilt and absolute devastation- you also have children to take care of.

Your feelings towards your friends husband are understandable - finding a connection with someone who misses and reminds you of your husband. The brain does all kinds of things in order to help soothe unbearable pain.

Speaking to someone outside your family & friends - a professional, will give you the chance to process your own feelings and enable you to be honest, without anyone’s judgement. 

Sending lots of love - you will get through this. It’s just really really hard to comprehend at the moment.

All the very best x

So sorry for your loss eventualdiamond

i lost my husband aged 31, our youngest was 6 months old at the time. It was knowing I had to be there for the kids that got me out of bed each day. Emotions are heightened at this time and many friends/family just don’t know how to react or support. 

Each of us will handle loss our own way and a support network can be very helpful, be it friends/family/professionals or charities that deal with bereavement - your local hospital should have a bereavement councillor that you can be referred to if you want to go down that route.

My heart goes out to you and the kids x