Why is it so hard? Dad died of bowel cancer 3 months ago. Thought I was ok... but clearly not!! Keep having flash backs to his death which was pretty horrific. Need to pull myself together.
Like the other reply ... don't "pull yourself together" don't hold it in .. you've probly been on overdrive in those first weeks / months ... grief is there for a reason... holding it in will in the end overwhelm you and you won't cope ... you need to feel those feelings ... there's no easy way around .. you've lost a parent, one of the hardest things we have to go through ...
But please know, cancer wants you to be a victim too ... it wants to take away those years of good memories and replace them with the painful ones ... it wants you to stay there living it over and over .. well your dad was more then cancer , he was the man that held your hand as a child .taught you to walk on your own ... watched you start school ... saw you though teenage years ..
And watched you grow into a woman ... he would want you to remember those memories befor cancer sat on his shoulder ... I know this, because that's how id want to be remembered... cancer sucks ... it can take our bodies, but don't let it take away the good things ... the last thing I'll do if this cancer takes me, will be to stick two fingers up to it ... you can do the same ...
You've not lost him, you are half of him ... keep him safe in your heart and take him with you on your journey through life... Chrissie xx
Hi sorry about your dad 3 months is no time at all dont try and pull yourself to gether it makes it worse and last long just except how you feel you will not feel this way forever the pain will dwindle i i think the three month mark is about the worst theres no time limit to grief have you thought about counciling the hospices are very good it helps a lot just to talk for an hour much the same as on here its around this time people start to go back to normal and start changing the subject but your still hurting at least the councilers dont do that .talking is about the best thing to do .they say theres five stages of grief but the lady who came up with that said it was only a guide line not a rule but ive found we can miss out some or cycle back and forth we think we will never get over the pain but it dwindles in time even when we loose our wives or partners so just go along every day no matter how you feel will be ok for you if you feel like a good cry do it its a safty valve and you do feel a bit better just because your a man it dosnt make you seem weak in fact i think its the opposit .so just take a day at a time eventualy you will start to forget the horrible time and start to remember your dad with a smile like crissie says grief has a reason .best wishs .paul
Unfortunately, we never get over a loved one's death however we eventually get accustomed to them no longer being around. I know because I have a brother who passed away 27 years ago. You dont "get over it" as some people would say. Very recently, I too lost my dad but to lung cancer. It's been almost two years and I'm still crying. I cry because I miss him and can't imagine the rest of my life without hearing his laugh again, and because sometimes I feel like calling him but I can't. I will say that I think I'm reaching the point when I think more about happier times like my childhood and upbringing with him as opposed to the end of his life and illness. It's all bitter sweet. For you, it is still very new. You might still be in shock and denial, and feeling angry but God and time heal everything. Gid bless you.
Thanks so much for reminding us that dad was who held our hands and watched us grow into women. I can't stop crying. I remember my dad bought me a dress for prom that he couldn't even afford in the first place. Now I think back on all of his sacrifices. Thanks again so much.
Thank you for lovely words ... and just want to say, that is a wonderful pic you've put on ... lovely to have you on board here ... you've put some caring words yourself ...
