Well you do what you want to do what makes you think your hurting more than me you dont know its not a contest we have given you advice its up to you wether you take it or not from what ive heard only we have 

i think im hurting,i cannot tell you how much anyone else is hurting,just myself.whether that quantifies as hurting more than anyone else i havent got a clue.i wish every one well and hope those fighting cancer and those whove lost close family all the best and just pray you handle things in your own way what ever works for you.

good luck to every one,hope you all manage cope with what ever life throws at you.me well my life aint worth a jot without Jayne.