Hi ian your not the exception here this happens to lots of people ones you think would be there and they let you down others that are there you would never dream would be its all a learning process i did explain jaynes mums just angry at the world and taking her grief out on you i dont think its a question of her liking you more she has to blame someone and who else but you i had the same with lizs daughter she tried to do it to me but i was in a different position so stuck it to her as i was the one there all the time and never got a break dont let it make you bitter you will never be the same again but probably wiser and more understanding i like to think its helped me in a way thats why i come on here to try and give support i dont know if i would before i i would know how to but this agony your feeling now does dwindle
your input and advice are very much appreciated.i just hope all the time its taking the trustees is just the norm and not because they cannot decide to follow Jaynes wishes and let me have Jaynes pension,because i was to all intense and purposes the house wife in mine and Jaynes relationship.well since 2006.so ive been reliant on Jayne working for our money.id say Jaynes money,but Jayne would always say its our money.and all i really want is money be able ,some how ,help me get Jaynes ashes.as im not looking to the future,im well and truly living in the memories of me and Jayne.
Its a slow complicated process ian when someone dies intestate that the reason i keep suggesting you seeing a probate solicitor its no good in six months time when its all sorted and you wish you had you need other than me in your corner wouldnt cost you much but its your desision but you should get something the executers are not working for you i beleive you should get it all myself but its so complicated but ill not mention it again but hope you get something as jayne would want you to if you had a card and had access to money in account these things can count well best wishs to you i cant realy add anything more .paul
Hi ian ian your realy need to see someone your not resposible for gass bills before you change gas etc over to your name thats for executers to clear up i cannot stress how important it is to see cab and a solicitor it will realy help .p
i saw CAB last week,the advisor told me they could break in throw me out and change the locks.without needing and legal help.i was shocked to say the least,as regards Jaynes ashes as they are not ownable by anyone its tricky as to what i could possibly do to get them with me when i die or before.as regards solicitor ive not got funds pay one and was told i cannot get legal aide.
Ime surprised they were not more helpfull and they couldnt put you in touch with better help .well you can get an apointment to talk to one i dont think it costs that much for just advice and they are the ones that can advise you on legal aid
You know Jayne left you something money cannot buy ... memories ... maybe now she'd want you to move on ... there comes a time we all have to let go, no mater if they are fare or not .. life is crule .. as we all know on here ..
If you go to the council and tell them you will become homeless threw no fault of your own, and register with them, then if you do get evicted, they will have to look after you .. go to the benifits office and see what your entitled to ... you need to look after you now ...
All my mum and dad left me was a ring l brought my mum with my first wage ... enough for a birthday do .. and so so much more, are the wonderfull memories of them both ... they never had much money, but they both had boundless love ... they taught me to stand on my own two feet ... and when I divorced after 27 years of marage .. I didn't sit around crying, l got my self up, and started doing what I had to do to keep me and my son going .. I never took a penny from my ex ... I can look back and feel really proud that I did keep us all together ...
You can do this... do things now so you can move on .. you don't need her ashes .. she's there in your heart ... but you need to stand on your own now ... you need to do this to make her proud of you, like I hope my parents are of me .. your not alone in grief, everyone on here is hurting for different reasons ..
But you are the only one who can do this ... chrissie
not sure were your coming from chriss,i lost my sister aged 9 and in 1985 and my dad aged 64 in 2006.it was very heart wrenching at the times of both losses,but if you want know the difference its like night and day yes im saying losing Jayne is way more heart wrenching i cannot get and dont want to get jayne out of my mind she was everything to me,i was with her because i was inlove with her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her,sorry you got devorced and moved on,sorry you didnt find someone who wanted spend the rest of their lives with you,or you with them.ok i was only with Jayne 28 years and wasnt married but we loved each other as much as humanly possible.my life revovled around Jayne she was my world.and unlike you and your partner i didnt have a choice,if i did i would gladly of died in Jaynes place even now the only reason im talking money is not for any future but to try in some way get the ashes of Jayne as my only want is to be with jayne when i die.sorry if you cannot comprehend my feelings for Jayne,but thats how it is and how i feel.good luck with your life and to those of you who have lost a partner and just moved on good on you,i cant ok .
i want to be in the same resting place as Jayne when i die,so i do need and want the ashes to make that possible.if thats something you cannot understand,i hope someday you find that special partner that means more than life itself,as then you might just might see were im coming from.
Actualy ian crissis has cancer and is in remission ive been divorced to after 30 years and i can tell you its diffrent but no less painfull as ive had both i tried to make a trist with god to take me and bting liz back if you read back you will see that we are trying to get your feet back on the ground i think you ow crissie a apology for that she is an absolute trooper on here and comes on even thoe shes ill herself to support others none of us have to we give adivce to people and some dont even reply or a word of thanks or even ask how they are even thoe they are going through it themselve either with cancer or have lost someone no one gets paid
sorry,but getting told lifes a circle and move on doesnt register.im glad to hear so many can do just that,me i cannot and sorry that my brain isnt in a place to move on.maybe i was fortunate that the lady i met and fell inlove with was the 1 and only ,its a pity private messaging isnt available as then we wouldnt have to open our hearts to every one just hoping that some one will have advice to really help us.my life means nothing without Jayne,im sorry if me wanting be with my soul mate offends those of you who think grief at a loss of any one in your life is the same.and that we should all just accept the loss and act as if nothing as happened.i pray that i will be with jayne and having her with me or next to me when i die would be my goal.sorry if thats not something most people class as important,well it is to me.
chriss sorry if ive offended you,or in any way belittled your achievement to move on and make a good go in your life.hope you stay in remission and have a good life.
