and thank you .i dont sleep to well,have to get myself exhausted before i finally get some sleep.
getting phone call off solicitor monday.got to get things moving and try not miss anything out when i say my piece.
Jayne is and will be in my heart and thoughts till i leave this world.And you are correct i was very fortunate to of had Jayne and her love in my life,it felt like i won the lottery [a tripple quadrupple rollover] when Jayne came into my life.
At this point in time my past is my future, as everything that as fullfilled my life ,and made me very very happy, as gone before me, with the time i spent with my dream girl.
ive decided just focus on Jayne at the bereavement sessions,as mostly its the nastiness of Jaynes family which as been infesting my thoughts at the sessions ive had so far. and is in no way helping me.
i will have to see what happens in the next few weeks as regards the advice i get from my solicitor and were it takes me.Again Thank you Jolamine your kind words have resonated through my mind as i read them.very much apreciated .
got advice off solicitor,as regards making claim as dependent,was told if i get any of Jaynes pensions ,then that would be considered as taking care of me.So thats changed my perspective a little,still dont think its right that parents especially ones who already have loads of money and a very nice house should be able get their hands on their daughters house.things in this country need changing to accept long term partners as next of kin and let the families fight over the scraps .why oh why in modern times are we still in the dark ages as regards the way we treat co habitors as second if not third class citezens when it comes to a partner passing away.ok vent over.
Yes ian its not fair . I put a post about this months ago liz and i were engaged but she had stroke after chemo and was gone in two days with sepsis fortunatly i own my own house i wonder how many young mothers have come unstuck with this and lost there home .when it comes to money its amazing how greed comes in .its shameful the way you get treated after we are good enough to care for our love ones my partners daughter turned horrible but i gave back worse as i had had enough unfortunatly your in a weaker positition so although you are sick of your wifes mum you are going to have to say to her jayn would hate you for this etc she has the upper hand so you are going to have to play the guilt game i know it sounds sneaky but look what you had from them its all about protecting youerself now in anyway you can jayne would be behind you ime sure its ok being tough with em as your walking out the door.this is what i would do of course its you desision did you have joint bank acount and things if yes ime sure you entitled to remove money etc and put it in your bank sme with anything else in your name goods and property because onece an executer is approved it belongs to the estate liz left me her car and even though it was at my house it was three months befor i could legaly move it i know your grieving but its just the way it works especialy if there was no will i asked but never replyed as as i said ive been in your position but not financialy but that makes no diffrence in most cases
yes Paul my position is not to great,but i dont regret being with Jayne,she was a very hard working very intelligent lady with loads of drive.the decision to do all house work shopping cooking etc and give up looking for work.was Jaynes idea,it meant after a 4 days away working,jayne could come home and not have to lift a finger.just how it should be with jayne working so hard,i loved doing whatever i could for her,i mean when jayne had her cancerous lump removed in 2016 she had nigh on 6 months at home and i would not let Jayne do anything as regards house work etc it was a sad time as regards Jaynes health,but was nice being able see to her every whim.im missing Jayne like crazy and wishing i was with her ,but i absolutely loved this amazing lady and enjoyed every second of time i spent with her.just wish we were given life choices from god above ,if i live another 5 years or so id gladly of given half that time so i could live my life out with Jayne in it.alternatively id sooner id died than Jayne.got another bereavement session at 10am today.no doubt i will get emotional and cry again,as i cannot talk about Jayne without tears streaming down my face.just want say good luck to those of you whove got partners or are actually going through cancer treatment hope things work out for all of you.
Hi yes understand that ian keep up with the counciling its your lifeline i cant realy say much more i understand how much you loved jayne .its awful that your in this position but you have to look after yourself now jayne would want that its i shame her mothers being so horrible mention to counciler what i said she says she will not be able to advise you on much but .you have to put aside your grief a bit if you can and sort this but of course this is only what i would do its a year now for me and ime seeing a bit of light at the end of the tunnel liz is still with me it does get easier but you have to protect yourself now once executer is appointed it gets very complicated and anything in your house belongs to the estate you have to help yourself materialy and financialy ill leave it there now .regards paul
unfortunately at times like these we need friends,and for at least the last 13 years Jayne was my very best friend, my lover and soul mate,and apart from my mum and 2 brothers,ive not got no one to turn to for real support,ok some neighbours have offered for me go round for a chat if i need to.my life revolved around Jayne she was my everything,even if we were married and i had no hassles from her mum and family id still be a lost as i am now.over last few night im finding it hard to do anything positive at all.i saw the cousellor today and managed speak about some of the issues around Jaynes family,and it does help,sadly my counsellor is on holidays for next 2 weeks ,so my next bereavement session is on7th may,not sure i can cope until then,not that im coping much at all anyways.all i really want is to hopefully get some money from the pensions,find a way of getting some of Jaynes ashes,write a will expressing how id like my funeral to be done.and find a way of being as close as i can to Jayne when that time comes.sorry every one whose taken time to read this i cannot stop thinking about Jayne she is in my thoughts 24/7 any thought of a future ended on the 10th feb.
Yes ian i understand exactly how you feel but like i said are sure theres nothing in writing a will or anything is the car in joint names the bank accounts the most important thing joint accounts and how morgage was paid etc makes it a whole new ball game but you should go and see a proper soliciter that deals with probate and try and get your security sorted loveing jayne is hanging onto the property etc i doupt jane would want her relatives to sell all your things and you end up with nothing thats horrendous but its what happens and the partner walks out the door and regrets not doing it after its not pleasnt to do when your suffering but you have to i may seem hard anf unsymathetic but ime in your corner for a while or as much as i can as ive lost the love of my life to
no car house bank accounts in jaynes name,i wasnt great with money my big flaw.i dont drink smoke take drugs or womanise.we did go set up joint bank account but as i dont drive[failed test years and years ago]so jayne set up 2nd account joined to hers and i had the card ,i did get a passport[no intention going abroad so was just for having an id to open account,but never got round to it as the bank was 15 miles away and with jayne working away all week was to much out of way on a day we saw each other.plus as i was only 1 who used the card on that account was like mine anyways.like lots of stuff in house i used by lots of things ,like the rowing machine and bike cam corder and a few laptops etc.dont know what i can do cannot afford storage,the pension forms i filled in,well last week they asked if id filled 1 out and turns out its gone missing so another gawd knows how long before trustees see it and decide if i even qualify.and i only want money buy a grave and try get ashes of jaynes parents then i wouldnt give a fig what happens to me .
Ok ian never mind i would still go and get advice from a specialist probate solicitor .the undertaker will bill estate for that now .its all a matter of consionce it all depends if jaynes parants are true ********* or there just angry at everything but anything like personal belongings move if you have a card of anysorts draw out as much as you can .but you know its not the end of the world on that score you need to try and get your emotional strength back now and look after yourself . But go see that soliciter ps first thing make an appointment to see an adviser at citizense advice bureae they are free on your side and can give more advice than me but dont hesitate i know your suffering greatly it may help if you get to know where you stand at least try putting a fresh post on see what otheres say eh
