Hi sorry your suffering it sucks but its not long just try and soldier on as best you can counciling it realy does help i lost my partner liz a bit befor your dad and it still hurts but not like it did because i wwent out and got a bit of help if your still stuggling ring your local hospic they all do counciling and othere things if your councilers not helping you have to stick at it they do far more than just help people to go the strongest of us need help sometime so give them a ring ask to spk to head counciler tell her its usualy a lady and tell her your struggling and see what she can suggest gps are ok but you get a quick chat and they just dont have the experiance that hospice councilers have but stick at it try and get the nevative feelings under control or you will never get through it they are so destructive and dont serve any purpouse just thinking you will never feel better is keeping you there in the pit of dispair its hard i know but you can do it then when your feeling stronger perhaps you can give others support  .paul