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I lost my best friend on the anniversary of dad's death.

BNAgone
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My dad passed away from colon cancer in 2017. It was a really difficult time and it broke me. We were very close and I had just started a new job. I couldn't deal with the loss so I repressed it.

My best friend had been battling osteosarcoma for 2 years by this time and he was my rock. We fed off each other's energy and he'll say I made him feel normal. We laughed and talked about practically everything. 

He had an amputation and passed away 2 days later.

I can't sleep at night. I can't eat. I stare blankly into space and I've lost the will to live. It's been a month but I still call his phone, hoping he'll pick up. I really don't know what to do and I think I'm suicidal. 

I really I'm not coping... 

 

  • Hi BNAgone,

    I'm so sorry to read about this and I can only imagine how hard this must be. Please know you have people you can speak to about this, and speaking to others - or even simply writing down your feelings - can often be a helpful way to help process the situation and to perhaps deal with your grief.

    Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and you can reach them on 116 123. It's free to call and you will always have a friendly ear at the other end of the phone.

    Otherwise, this Cancer Chat forum is a very welcoming place to be and you will find others to speak to and to offers words of support on here.

    Aside from these options, do you have anyone else you can speak to about this?

    I hope you find some relief soon. Please know that it will get better with time and that you are stronger than you think.

    Do keep us posted on here with how you're getting on as we're always happy to listen.

    Ben

    Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hi there I think if your feeling this way I would ring your GP Tom and make an appointment your stronger than you think you know .loosing your best friend you have lost the person that you would confided in but you have to get out and help yourself you hospices are not there for people to go to die they offer far far more you will have a local one near you they have councilors to talk to and they are experienced in all types grief friends children mums dad s wives husbands partner's they have visitor centers you can go to .or you ring the head councillor tell them exactly what you have told us and see what they suggest but counciling not a magic bullet you have to keep at I it can take month I lost my partner 10 months ago and went straight out and got counciling I think if I didn't I would be much worse than I am now you didn't say if you have family they may not understand the deep loss your feeling now just take what support you can get times a great healer but not on its own its the time you are given to grieve your friend and help yourself to in a way I understand because my partner Liz was my friend and confidant to .but hold this in your thoughts that the pain does dwindle and we humans can't take far more pain and suffering than we think .ime so sorry about your friend it's horrible I know best wishes to you .paul

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    Hi there, 

    I really feel for you, it is so awful. Please please keep talking, see your GP in the morning, ask for some help. You are really suffering and need support. It's too much sometimes for us to cope with and you can only take so much. Please trust me when I say that you will feel better about things one day. It's not going to happen over night but like Paul said you are stronger than you think, you've just been hit with too many big blows and you've crumbled a little bit which who wouldn't? You're only human and it is so difficult sometimes, coming to terms with things while trying to keep things together. Give your GP a call in the morning or Macmillan and let us know how you get on ok? You're not alone, we are always here. Nobody is alone here. Xxxxxxx

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