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Who loses their mom at 28?

Hummingbird09
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In August my incredible, amazing, wonderful mom died. And everything went with her. Family, aunts, cousins etc just disappeared and my father started seeing my moms friend a month after she died - this in itself nearly drove me to the edge. My family informed me that they are struggling with the loss and I simply don’t get it. I don’t get it. She was not only my mother but my best friend. I’m an only child. We were beyond close and I can’t live without her. On Saturday I turn 29. I can’t do this. I can’t have a birthday and she not be here. I am alone. I have nobody but I’m expected to be happy, smiley and completely fine and pretend she never existed. It’s like everyone has gone insane! I’m a good actress and so I fake happy but inside and broken. It’s as though I died with her but they forgot to bury me. I’m just going 100 miles an hour trying to be perfect and okay but I just can’t. 

I’ve never posted on a forum before but I just don’t know what to do and feel so alone and I was hoping someone her might be able to help?!? 

Thank you x

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    Hi Hummingbird09,

    I just wanted to reply to your post - although I can't offer you any advice as I'm struggling myself at the moment to accept my mother has gone. She died last November and I still feel as if she's going to come back and I'll see her again, crazy I know.  I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I can understand where you are coming from.

    I am older than you at 37 but I still felt that I would have my mother for a lot longer that what I did. I was also very close to my mother and saw her every day so to not see her ever again is almost crippling to think about.  I just cannot see a future without her in it, she was always there for me.

    I've put my name down to see a counsellor although I know this will not bring my mother back I feel I need to speak to someone.  Might this be an idea for you?  I also keep a journal to write things down.  I know these things won't take any of the pain away.  I also try to cary on for my mother as I know she would hate to see us upset.  I'm sure your mother would feel the same way about you.  I know it's hard as I have found I'm not really sure if it has all hit me yet and I am just on autopilot, just going through the motions. I do find it helps slightly to read other people's stories on here although it's horrible to think people are suffering it does help to know there are people that do understand.

    Take care xxxx

     

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    So sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad in November so I can totally relate. 

    Have you considered seeing a counselor? I found it really useful throughout my Dad's battle with pancreatic cancer and I'm now looking to speak to a grief counselor.

    Very best! x

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    Hi griefs griefs a funny thing there is no logic to it you cant figure it out because you get emotionaly exhaused i think counciling would realy help ase to your dad he has lost his life partner its not unusual for a partner to lean on a friend for comfort especialy if his friend is female probably will not last but for the time being just go along with its probably holding him togethere theres a massive diffrence between loosinh a parant and a partner whos to say which is more painful . Try and get your emotional strengh back then you can look at the situation and what to do but for the moment you need to grieve yourself  if your concerned about your dad look up transferance on internet it will explain whats happeng so sorry about your mum its awful ive had it all myself both sides . Best wishs paul

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