My mum died 6 years ago of breast cancer. I was 15 and It was sudden and painful, 3 weeks after we found out it might be cancer she died in my arms. I write to her on facebook ever couple of weeks telling her i miss her and what my life is like now. I still get the pain in my chest that I did when she died when i rember that she isnt here. sometimes I like to play sick games in my head where i pretend she is still alive, talking to her in my house or imagining what it would feel like to ride in the car with her beside me. Sometimes I see women that resemble her in shops and I stare at them, pretending they are her. I pretend that I am strong, that I am brave but I miss her and I am scared of living without her, even though I have for the past 6 years sometimes I remind myself that she isnt here and I feel terrifed of living without her. My dad turned to alcohol after my mum and left me, I found a lovely boyfriend but I still yearn for a parent. I tuned 21 the other week and I cried the entire day. I couldnt help but think about her missing such an important date. The thought of my wedding and the birth of my first child makes me feel sick with worry; What will I do without her and how do I carry on?
