First of all, I am not sure if I can be of any help writing this. What’s hard during moments of loss is not just losing who you love but also losing people around you and not getting the right kind of support. Being alone in time of change, not any change but a change you are unsure of is hard but rest assured that god will always be there for you if you let yourself, your emotions, your weakness and surround yourself by his power. I am not sure if you actually believe in god, but if you do try to get closer to him try to ask him for guidance, ask him to let you open up to the right people, let him guide you through this hard time. At one point this year I have felt so weak right after my father’s diagnosis, I really felt that life has ended right there and that it will be so hard to go back to feeling close to normal anytime soon but here I am trying to show you that you will be able to cope and that you shouldn’t let anyone bring you or your emotions down, you should acknowledge the fact that you are going through a hard time and it’s only normal to feel weak, you shouldn’t feel guilty because you are not strong enough to deal with it, no one has that kind of strength to deal with it logically, it is not a logical experience, it’s an emotional one so we should deal with it with emotions. If you need to talk to someone the door is always open on my side. 

Hello Wally4ever and welcome.  It is only a very short period of time since your mum died so don't be so hard on yourself.  Your mum has loved and cherished you since the moment of your conception so of course it is horrendous when you lose her; you have never known life without your parents.  Why are  you so angry (and who with?) that you keep having a go at your partner?  I think we all have regrets when we have lost a parent - there are things we think we should have said and done.  But you know what, they loved us unconditionally.  If there are things you would like to have said then say them out loud, write them down, whatever is easiest for you. Don't bottle things up inside you.  You might like to consider bereavement counselling at some point  - Cruse Bereavement Care has a Freefone number 0808 808 1677.  I know some areas have a waiting period but it could be worth getting your name down if you want to consider this.  But do try to work things out with your partner who could be a great support if you would let her do so.  Can you not share your mourning with your dad and listen to what he is feeling; it might help if you can talk together about what you are both experiencing.   Also your girls need you and may well be worried about you.  I hope at least some of this is useful.  Best wishes.  Annie 

Hi this is an old post, but I wondered how you are doing? My mum is dying of lung cancer, diagnosed a week ago, I'm devastated, we are so close, I also live next door and can't imagine life without her. She can't have treatment as she is already end stage copd and on oxygen. Heartbroken