Still cant believe I am actually typing this - my dad was in and out of hospital all of last year with various ailments which he was more or less always fobbed off about.

Toward the end of the year he was waking up most nights with pain which was keeping both him and my mam awake- still after visiting his GP he was told it was probably wind!! he was hardly eating and was also told oh your stomach may have shrunk??!

he then suffered a small stroke at the beginning of November - then after a full body scan he was finally diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer - a week later we were old it was terminal and he had around 6 months...........he deteriorated rapidly and we lost him 3 weeks later on 8th December.

He passed peacefully at home with me my mam and my brother by his side.

We have had his funeral / christmas / new year and now life feels blank.....he was only 64 years old - it would be his 65th this Sunday - it just dosent feel real - this kind of thing happens to others not me. I have a 10 and 7 year old who were his life, i thought he would be at their weddings - I still think he is coming back.

I need to make sense of all of this it all happened so quickly can anyone relate?

thank you x