Hi,

I am not sure there is 'normal' when it comes to grieving as it affects everyone differently. I lost my Dad nearly 11 years ago and then my husband  4 yrs ago in early January. This time of year brings memories, good and not so good but taking each day as it comes  has been a help. I kept going and still do,  for my children and now grandchildren but accept there will be emotional times.

If you feel you need more support then do ask for it and you can also give the nurses on this site a ring on the number below during normal office hours. Chatting on this forum helped me along the journey too. Jules54 

Hi Sarah

So sorry to hear you have lost your Dad.  I lost my mother in November of this year, I feel the same way I know my mother is no longer here but I refuse or am unable to accept that I will never see her again. Whenever I start to think about the future without her I just cannot comprehend she is really gone. I find it hard to breath so I try and block it out. My mind has more or less blocked out the last couple of months where I cared for my mother. I've heard that sometimes this is your brain's way of coping with such a huge loss.  

I miss her beyond anything I have ever experienced, feels like a huge gaping hole. Like you I try to carry on as normal, just putting one foot in front of each other and keep busy so I don't have time to think. Right or wrong this is the way I am dealing with it.

Take care Sarah, I just wanted to reply to say you are not alone. X x x

Thank you for taking the time to reply, it’s nice to  know that at least I’m not alone, I feel sometimes like I’m going mad. I know he died, I was there, but a future without him is so empty that I just can’t accept he is dead. I hope that I will be able to come to terms with it one day because he isn’t here no matter how much I try and ignore the fact. I miss him so so much, it had greatly impacted my life, it’s not right that he had to die. The other day I was walking back from the shop to my house and I saw him walking up my driveway, it sent a rush of adrenaline through me then I realised there was nobody there!

Yes it feels really *** to me also. My 10 year marriage is down the pan, he was so unsupportive and generally we are a bad match so I’m trying to hold everything together for my 2 year old daughter. I’m currently staying with my mum over Xmas so she is not alone. Only trouble is, like you I do my best to not think about my dad I also saw him everyday but now I’m in his house and he is everywhere. I’m finding myself very short tempered and not feeling too to good mentally. I wish he was here to help. 

Hi there,

Im so sorry to hear about your mom and dad cwtch & sarah. I lost my dad just over a month ago and feel the same. I know he has died ... i was there. But I cant bear to think Ill never see him again so i tend to just try and push it to the back of my mind and forget it. 

I do have moments where I get over emotional and think about him and just break down in tears but I hold it together and will only do this in my house. Anything sad sets me off - i can't concentrate and I cant focus on a lot of stuff. Im feeling so angry and irriatable all the time aswell.

My partner really does get the brunt of it sometimes which makes me feel terrible but I dont think he quite understands just how tough it still is. 

Xx