Hi,

I am not sure there is 'normal' when it comes to grieving as it affects everyone differently. I lost my Dad nearly 11 years ago and then my husband  4 yrs ago in early January. This time of year brings memories, good and not so good but taking each day as it comes  has been a help. I kept going and still do,  for my children and now grandchildren but accept there will be emotional times.

If you feel you need more support then do ask for it and you can also give the nurses on this site a ring on the number below during normal office hours. Chatting on this forum helped me along the journey too. Jules54 

Thank you for taking the time to reply, it’s nice to  know that at least I’m not alone, I feel sometimes like I’m going mad. I know he died, I was there, but a future without him is so empty that I just can’t accept he is dead. I hope that I will be able to come to terms with it one day because he isn’t here no matter how much I try and ignore the fact. I miss him so so much, it had greatly impacted my life, it’s not right that he had to die. The other day I was walking back from the shop to my house and I saw him walking up my driveway, it sent a rush of adrenaline through me then I realised there was nobody there!

Sarah

I imagine it will take a while to fully accept they are no longer here. I'm just not at that stage yet. When I think about my mother it hurts so  much so I tell myself right think about something else now. I know this won't help in the long run and it will eventually come out at some point and at some time but I just cannot face it right now or for a good while.

I am missing my mother so much and really wanted to go and see her today something I would do pretty much everyday without thinking about it as she was always there. As the days turn into weeks and then months without seeing her it just gets harder not easier. Sorry my reply back to you is not very positive and uplifting. 

I also feel and think why did my mother have to die  she wasn't ready to go and should have had years left it's just not fair....

It just feels everything is just pretty *** at the minute.

Thinking of you Sarah x x x

Yes it feels really *** to me also. My 10 year marriage is down the pan, he was so unsupportive and generally we are a bad match so I’m trying to hold everything together for my 2 year old daughter. I’m currently staying with my mum over Xmas so she is not alone. Only trouble is, like you I do my best to not think about my dad I also saw him everyday but now I’m in his house and he is everywhere. I’m finding myself very short tempered and not feeling too to good mentally. I wish he was here to help. 

Hi there,

Im so sorry to hear about your mom and dad cwtch & sarah. I lost my dad just over a month ago and feel the same. I know he has died ... i was there. But I cant bear to think Ill never see him again so i tend to just try and push it to the back of my mind and forget it. 

I do have moments where I get over emotional and think about him and just break down in tears but I hold it together and will only do this in my house. Anything sad sets me off - i can't concentrate and I cant focus on a lot of stuff. Im feeling so angry and irriatable all the time aswell.

My partner really does get the brunt of it sometimes which makes me feel terrible but I dont think he quite understands just how tough it still is. 

Xx