Cancer Research UK main site

Losing Mum when you’re a child

1783smith
Offline

I’m 14 years old and I’ve just lost my mum to many different cancers.She was diagnosed in  2013 with breast cancer.Over the time they found more cancers.At the start she was given only 2 years to live but with amazing treatments and doctors,nurses she was able to live longer.She had a battle with cancer for 5 years.But I always remember the positivity she had with cancer she saw it has a battle that she was going to win.She was an amazing women loved by everybody.I miss are so much but I know I can remember the good days and the happy memories.It’s going to be a hard time not having a mother figure as I was very close to her.But now i know she isn’t in any pain and she watching me proudly wanting me to do well in life.Im trying to be postive and strong as that was what she was like.Im trying to find how to cope with a lost of a loved one.Does anyone share the same experience of losing a loved one when you’re a child.

x

  • Offline

    I'm so sorry for you loss. My mother passed away Christmas Day after a 25 year battle with cancer. I was 12 years old when she was first diagnosed and we thought we would lose her then. Watching a parent suffer is traumatising and there are amazing Bereavement Counsellors available for children and teenagers. Try contacting Cruse Bereavement Service, you can Google there contact details. Are you able to talk with friends and family? Please don't hold onto your grief, it's a normal process to cry or scream or do whatever you feel you need to in times like this. Just know that your mum is at peace now, no more suffering. She's got her Angel wings and watches over you from the brightest star in the sky. Sometimes it helps to write a journal of how we feel and our experiences. Please take care of yourself and I'm here if you need to talk xx

  • Offline

     

    Hi 1783Smith,

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum and offer my sincere sympathy on her passing.

    My heart goes out to you. I was an adult with 2 children of my own when my mum died from cancer. Like your mum, she was initially diagnosed with breast cancer, which metastasised after 12 years and, was latterly in her brain, bones, liver and lungs. I have lost many other relatives and close friends to cancer and have had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself within the past 9 years, so I am no stranger to this disease. Mum died 21 years ago, but I still miss her every day.

    You sound like an incredibly mature young lady for your age. There are many adults who cannot cope with losing their mum, but it sounds as if you have the right attitude to overcome this. Do you have any other siblings and can you discuss things openly with your dad? It is important that you have someone who you can talk to about your mum. You will find this a great help.

    I keep a photograph of my mum in pride of place at home. Every time I pass her I have a quick chat. It does help. Like you I always try to do things which will make her proud. I am not particularly religious, but I do feel that she is always by my side. She is now my guardian angel and, I do my best to make her proud in everything I do.

    It is never easy to lose your mum, but you have lost yours at a very important stage of your life. Do your best to do what your mum would have wanted you to do and, to be what she would have wanted you to be.

    I suspect that you may find that your friends don't really know how to react with you, as most of them have never been touched by death. There is a site for teenagers who have parents with cancer called "riprap". Many of these young people know how hard it is to lose a loved one. You might find more people of your age there who you can discuss your feelings with and, who can help you through this.

    It sounds as if your mum may have had a hard time at the end. So did my mum. To start with, it was difficult not to remember these times, but, as the years have passed, we can now recall happier memories and remember her with a smile. I hope that one day you and your dad will do the same.

    I am always here if you want to talk.

    Thinking of you and sending you a big cyber hug.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

     

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thanks for your lovely advise on coping when losing a loved one.I love to hear that there is people out there going through similar situations to mine.Im sorry to hear of the many loses you have down to the horrible disease.

    Best wishes for the future

    xx

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.