I am so sorry for your loss. My eldest brother died yesterday from bowel cancer, we were hoping February at least. I had breast cancer, my brother and I had chemo at the same time. I'm taking one day at a time, its hard seeing them go, I didnt want to leave him alone in his hospital room. Walking away was very hard. I am sure your family will be there for each other, and create special loving memories of your mum and you will hold forever. My thoughts are with you at this sad time of year. Take care x 

Hello VictoriousLisa; I am so sorry that when the rest of the world is making merry you have faced such sorrow.Obviously I don't know the nature of your mum's death I hope you obtain comfort from the fact that she was surrounded by people who loved her.    My mum died from cancer at the age of 70 many years ago now; cancer doesn't care about who it devastates.  Why should the funeral be on your son's birthday - surely you have some say in this matter (I know this has been the case where I have been involved in a funeral).  It is hardly surprising that you are currently in distress - that is human nature and I hope your family will draw together and not grieve separately.  Be a bit kinder to yourself - just take things as they come, hour by hour. No matter how long your life your mum will always be a part of you.  The people you love are always in your heart.  I still talk to my mum's (and my dad) photo after all this time.  Do keep coming here to talk whenever you wish.  Annie

I'm so sorry to hear your news, my dad passed away in July 4 months after bring diagnosed, the same as u I still can't get the image of his passing out of my head, it will stay with me forever, I'm 27 my dad was 54, I have a 5 year old daughter that just doted on her granda, give urself some time, take things day by day or even hour by hour, if u can get through one hour u can get through 2 hours, never be afraid to greive, I held it in for 2 long and ended up on medication myself. Take time to remember the good times or block it all out, do whatever u need to. U will find the strength for your son, I miss my dad so so much, I have never felt heartache like it but he wouldn't want me to live my life, he would want me and my daughter to laugh everyday and that makes me smile and carries me through my days. Wish u all the best, take care of yourself. 

Thank you for your kind words Annie, and I'm sorry for your loss. I also continue to talk to my mum and I will never stop, it gives me comfort. My father and I will make the funeral home aware of my son's birthday so it can be avoided if possible, I'm sure they will be fine. As you can imagine my emotions are all over the place right now but our family are open in our communications about mum and we talk daily, reminiscing and sharing memories. Reading everyone's kind words is helping xx

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Your father was so young, I presume he had pancreatic cancer also? Please give your little one a hug from me, it must be so hard. You're right though, our children give us strength to carry on. My son has been amazing throughout and he hugs my dad everyday when he see's him, reassuring him he's not alone. It's heart breaking to watch and I've never seen my dad cry until now. 

I want to remember my mum as she was, strong and independent but I'm haunted at night by her last breath and hours on this earth. Cancer is evil xx