Hi there ...

There's no right or wrong way to grieve .... feelings and emotions are all over the place ... it's like your brain trying to make sense of everything, when there is none ...

Give yourself permission to feel whatever your feeling at that moment, and know it's normal ... the face we put on to others is to protect our selfs .... when all we want is our mum back ... you are in the RAW first year ... where you think nothing will ever be o.k or "normal" again ... but that raw feeling ebbs in time ... but the missing never goes away ... we learn to live with it ...

Think what your mum would say if she could ... you know her, and I bet you can guess what she'd say ...I'm on my cancer journey now ... and if I loose my self to this crule desese,  I know I want my kids to go on and live their live to the full ... then I'll know I did an o.k job ... 

Your mum has not left you... she's right there... she's half of you ... she made you ... so she will live on through you ... and you can keep her safe in your heart ... where no one or nothing can hurt her again ... remember the good times .., cancer is a small part of our life's journey ... if all you think about is when she had cancer... it will claim you as a victim too .. 

But know it's o.k to scream, vent, cry , laugh, feel o.k or feel really down, it's part of being blessed to have a mum so special in our life ... we were blessed ... sending you a vertual hug ... Chrissie

My husband died at the end of August just before his birthday...people keep saying I am strong yet I feel like I’m unravelling...cried more today for some reason...don’t understand it?

Thank you for your lovely words Chrissie and I am so sorry you have your own battle, cancer is so cruel.  I surprisingly had a really lovely Christmas and remembered my mum with a smile as I watched my own family enjoy their day.  You are right she would be shouting at me if she could see me crying she lived life to the full right until the very end and would want me to do the same. I will have bad days when I ache with pain to speak with her again but then I will smile and laugh as I think of her and her funny ways

I hope you and your family had a lovely Christmas and you have many, many more to come, sending virtual hug right back at you...... ️

I am sorry about the loss of your husband Christmas is a tough time when you have lost a loved one.  I hope your having a better day today, my grief is still so raw it was a month ago yesterday and I struggled to get through the day but I did and today is another day and I am feeling a little better. I am learning grief is such a personal thing and I am learning to just go with it if I want to cry I allow myself to cry without feeling guilty over it she was my mum and only I know the special relationship with her and only I know how I am feeling.  I totally understand the unravelling, I feel totally empty and feel like I have lost my personality and don’t know who I am right now but I am sure day by day I put myself back together and it will be me again, not the old me but a different  version of me.  I hope you are having a better day today sending virtual hugs ️