I haven't been on the site for a while I think I've just been trying to get on with things so that everyone thinks I'm coping but it's not working. I lost my partner in june and to begin with I thought I was ok but recently I just can't stop crying. It's my birthday this week and it's the first celebration without him he always bought my special perfume for me because he said he had no imagination and it was the safest gift he could buy. It's been a very emotional few weeks it was the first anniversary of my mum's death at the end of November and at the beginning of December it would have been my grandsons 11th birthday. It seems that all I seem to cope with is sadness. I'm dreading Christmas but I put a smile on my face for the sake of my granddaughter but deep down I just want to hide away.
