Hi dear heart I come here to this forum because of the need to seek out people like you who are experiencing the same feelings that I am. Your story is heartbreaking just like so many others here and I'm truly sorry that you have to go through such a deep loss.

Like yours, my husband passed away and I am just missing him so much it is painful every day, tears are my new norm although privately as people around me expect me to be strong. So just know that you are not alone. Sometimes you wonder if anyone else feels such deep loss, if anyone loved their husband as much as you loved yours, if anyone is acting like they're coping but inside their heart hurts moment by moment. Yes I feel the same way and wonder these things then I come here to this forum and satisfy the need to bond with another person who feels such intense loss of love. Together we will all get through this pain and grief with the hope of easier days always on the horizon.

Take heart my dear others are standing and rooting for you. I certainly am.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me it was so very kind and caring

It was good for me to read that what I am feeling about certain things is 'normal'

I have never opened up as much as I did last night and to receive such wonderful support from people like yourself and others who are going through the same pain has been a humbling experience.

To know that I am not experiencing anything different/strange or that I am not 'mad' to still be grieving or getting upset over the silliest of things has been some sort of comfort I have come to believe it is only people going through the pain of losing their soulmate who can really understand what the emotions and feelings are truly like. I feel talking with people like yourself has helped me to understand that I am normal.

I just long for the day when I can think of the wonderful happy times I had with my Darling Ian, looking through his huge collection of photographs, listening to our favourite music, watching our favourite DVD, without ending up in floods of tears. I long for the laughter and joy which rang out in our home to return to my life as it was when he was alive.

My close friends are wonderful, I don't know what I would do without them, so in that respect I am blessed and am very grateful that they are all trying so hard to make my life easier and 'happier' despite hurting themselves. I feel I am pretending to them that I am getting there as they are doing with me.

Ian was a 'larger than life' character, so kind and patient, generous with his time and totally loyal towards the people he loved and his passing has left a huge void in our close circle of friends. He was the one they would turn to for advice or help, so I feel their pain too as they are struggling to come to terms with the fact that he is no longer here which also saddens me as I want to try and make it hurt less for them too. Sending you much love Alison xx

Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me it was so very kind and caring

It was good for me to read that what I am feeling about certain things is 'normal'

I have never opened up as much as I did last night and to receive such wonderful support from people like yourself and others who are going through the same pain has been a humbling experience.

To know that I am not experiencing anything different/strange or that I am not 'mad' to still be grieving or getting upset over the silliest of things has been some sort of comfort I have come to believe it is only people going through the pain of losing their soulmate who can really understand what the emotions and feelings are truly like. I feel talking with people like yourself has helped me to understand that I am normal.

I just long for the day when I can think of the wonderful happy times I had with my Darling Ian, looking through his huge collection of photographs, listening to our favourite music, watching our favourite DVD, without ending up in floods of tears. I long for the laughter and joy which rang out in our home to return to my life as it was when he was alive.

My close friends are wonderful, I don't know what I would do without them, so in that respect I am blessed and am very grateful that they are all trying so hard to make my life easier and 'happier' despite hurting themselves. I feel I am pretending to them that I am getting there as they are doing with me.

Ian was a 'larger than life' character, so kind and patient, generous with his time and totally loyal towards the people he loved and his passing has left a huge void in our close circle of friends. He was the one they would turn to for advice or help, so I feel their pain too as they are struggling to come to terms with the fact that he is no longer here which also saddens me as I want to try and make it hurt less for them too. Sending you much love Alison xx